The Ties That Bind
These characters are the property of Watase Yuu and Fushigi Yuugi. In no way do we claim them as our own. Please don't sue us, we don't have any money anyway.
Author's note: This fic takes place around episode 23, just before the attempt to call Suzaku is made, and Amiboshi is posing as Chiriko.
I'd just like everyone to know why I wrote this: I adore both the twins and it bugs me that it turned out so badly for them. I mean, does what happen to them just suck, or what? So I decided to fix it, and this is what I ended up with.
Part One
Amiboshi sighed and sat down on his bed, exhausted. It had been a long day, filled with preparations for calling Suzaku. Tomorrow promised to be an even longer day, because tomorrow was the day it would all end. He tried to smile, tried to think of the victory he would be bringing to the Seiryuu Seishi, but he couldn't quite pull it off. He looked at his arm hopefully, thinking that maybe Suboshi would send him a message, something that would cheer him up and make him feel less guilty about what he was going to have to do.
He studied his painted red symbol. He remembered Nakago's voice, giving him his last instructions as he'd painstakingly painted the red symbol on his skin.
"They know nothing about their seishi," Nakago had said. "We have the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho that has the clues. They will not question you as long as you have the symbol. All you need do is become one of them."
He'd followed Nakago's instructions. He'd followed them a little too well. Now he felt like he truly was one of the Suzaku Seishi. He tried to remember when he'd stopped feeling like Amiboshi and started feeling like Chiriko.
Yes. It had to be. He'd broken the barrier Nakago had put up, and saved Miaka, Chichiri, and Tasuki. They'd been proud of him. He'd been proud of himself. It had felt good to know that he'd saved his friends, because that was what they'd become. His friends. It was good to have friends. Before now, it had just been his brother and himself.
"I can't do this," he sighed, but he knew that protesting was useless. Of course he could do it. And he would, too. He had to do it. What else could he do? Go find Miaka and say, "Sorry, I was just kidding?" Forget that. He'd have to go on with it. But kill them all? He'd been putting his chi in them over the past few weeks, using his flute to do it. He was physically capable of killing all of them. But was he mentally capable of doing it? He was a little less sure about that.
He felt a tingling sensation and instinctively looked down at his arm. "What's going on?" Suboshi was asking.
He hesitated, then wrote back, "Nothing yet. The ceremony isn't until tomorrow."
"Are you excited?" Suboshi asked.
"You might put it that way," Amiboshi answered. "Nervous is more like it." He paused. "Shun-chan, I don't think that I can do this." He knew that calling brother by his old nickname irritated him, which was half the reason he'd done it at first, but it had quickly grown into the term of affection it was supposed to be. Suboshi, however, had long ago dropped the habit of calling his brother Kou-chan.
There was a long pause. Finally, Suboshi asked, "What do you mean?"
"They're my friends, Shunkaku. I don't think I can just kill them all." He still wasn't used to calling his brother Suboshi, and he rarely did so.
"Do you need to kill them all?" Suboshi asked. "I thought you just had to disrupt the ceremony, after they burned the scroll, then they won't be able to call Suzaku."
Amiboshi sighed. "Nakago said to kill them all."
"Can you?"
"Yes. With my flute."
Suboshi grimaced. "You're in trouble, then. But . . . they're our enemies, Koutoku. Can't you just remember that?" Like his brother, Suboshi had difficulty remembering to call his brother by his seishi name.
"I know they're our enemies," Amiboshi answered. "But why?"
"Well . . . because we're at war with Konan, that's why."
"Why are we at war with Konan?"
"How should I know?"
Amiboshi sighed again. "Sorry, Shunkaku. It's not fair for me to take this out on you. But while I was here, I had to become one of them, and now I feel like I have."
"But you're under direct orders!" Suboshi protested. "Think about what Nakago would do to you!"
Amiboshi winced. "I know, I know. I'll do it, I will. It just won't be easy for me."
There was a pause. "I'm sorry, Aniki," Suboshi answered. "I wouldn't want to be you."
Amiboshi managed a smile. "I'll be okay," he reassured his younger brother. "I better go now, I need to get some sleep if I'm going to be ready tomorrow."
"All right. I'll see you soon, ne?"
"Right."
Amiboshi lay back and stared at the ceiling. He could tell it was going to be a long, sleepless night.
~~~
"Hi, Chiriko," Tasuki greeted as he walked into the dining room for some breakfast. "All ready for the big day?"
If there was one thing that bothered Amiboshi the most, it had to be being called Chiriko. It felt like his friends didn't know who he was, like they didn't know him at all. He admired and respected all of them, and it felt strange to know that he was lying to them, tricking them, betraying them, and that in a matter of a few short hours, they would all be dead because of him.
"Hai," Amiboshi answered. "I just didn't sleep too well, that's all."
"I guess we're all nervous," Nuriko said, sitting down next to him.
"I don't even want to think about what would happen if this doesn't work," Tamahome groaned.
Amiboshi studied his food carefully, not looking at any of his friends.
"You okay no da?" Chichiri asked him.
"Fine," Amiboshi forced himself to say. "Just didn't sleep well," he repeated.
"You picked a bad night for insomnia," Tasuki said.
Amiboshi forced a smile. "Yeah, I know."
They sat around talking for a while, about what would happen after they called Suzaku and how excited they were. Tamahome was practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he was planning to propose to Miaka after the ceremony. Miaka was the only one who wasn't there, because she was preparing for the ceremony. After a while, all the others wandered off to various places to prepare. Amiboshi sat alone in the dining room. He ran a hand through his hair and wondered how he was going to get through the day.
"You still in here?" Mitsukake asked, walking past the door. "It's almost time."
"Huh?" Amiboshi asked, looking up sharply. "Oh, yeah. I lost track of time. I'll be right there." He took a minute to collect himself, then headed for the temple. Everyone else was already there.
"You're late, Chiriko-kun," Tamahome said, but he was smiling. They were all smiling. Amiboshi couldn't stop himself from thinking, If only you knew . . .
Miaka made her grand entrance. Amiboshi caught his breath. He knew he had fallen in love with her, just a little bit, and then had stopped himself. She was so head-over-heels for Tamahome that Amiboshi knew he would never have a chance. But dressed as Suzaku no Miko, she was beautiful.
She stood at the altar and began her incantation. Amiboshi studied the faces of those around him, his friends. Tasuki looked, as always, a little bit impatient. He wanted to get on with things. His red hair shined in the firelight. Mitsukake was calm and collected, his usual expression of tranquility on his face. Amiboshi shuffled his feet nervously. Tamahome's eyes were glued to Miaka, and his mouth was half open. He didn't seem to have any idea of what was going on. Hotohori, like Mitsukake, looked calm and relaxed. Of course he's relaxed, Amiboshi thought. He doesn't know what's about to happen. Once Miaka throws that scroll in the fire, they're all done for. Chichiri's mask was smiling as always. Amiboshi had never seen his real face, and he wondered if Chichiri's expression under the mask was the same as what it was on the mask. Nuriko looked calm but just a little nervous, obviously wondering if it was going to work.
Miaka held the scroll above the fire.
Amiboshi took a deep breath. Then his hand, independent of his frozen brain, reached out and grabbed Miaka's arm. "No!" he heard himself say.
Everyone was staring at him.
Oh, nice going, Amiboshi thought. Now what do you do?
"Are you okay, Chiriko?" Miaka asked him.
Amiboshi felt something snap inside of him. They didn't know him. They didn't know how easily he could kill them. They didn't know how close he'd just come to doing so. They didn't know *anything!*
"I'm NOT Chiriko!" he yelled.
Everyone stared in utter confusion.
"Da?" Chichiri finally asked, managing to express all the bewilderment in the world in that one syllable.
Amiboshi revealed his symbol and started rubbing at it frantically, watching it smear under his fingertips. "See?" he cried. "It's paint!"
"But . . . if you're not Chiriko, then who . . . ?" Tamahome began, then stopped, totally lost.
"And why?" Hotohori added softly.
Amiboshi grabbed the shoulder of his shirt and pulled it down, revealing the blue symbol on his shoulder. He cleared his throat and tried to speak, avoiding their eyes. "My name is Koutoku," he said, voice cracking. "I'm a Seiryuu Seishi, Amiboshi." His knees seemed to give way underneath him and he sank to the floor. What the hell was he doing? "Nakago gave me orders to come here and be Chiriko, to gain your trust, to become one of you, and then turn on you, ruin the ceremony, and -- and kill you all." The last words came out with a lot of effort.
The Suzaku Seishi looked at each other uncertainly. What could they say to *that*?
Tasuki was the first one to speak. "You were going to WHAT?!"
Amiboshi winced and said nothing.
"Well, fuck!" Tasuki yelled. "Now what the hell are we supposed to do!" He grabbed Amiboshi's arm and yanked him off the floor. Amiboshi tried to pull away, but Tasuki was holding him in a strong grip.
"I'm sorry!" Amiboshi said. "I did what I had to do! That's all!"
"But you almost ruined the ceremony!" Tamahome yelled.
"Look, you're right and I know it. Kill me if you want, just do it quickly, because . . . " Amiboshi's voice trailed off. "All right, so I can't give you a reason!"
"Damned right you can't!" Tauski yelled.
"Stop it!" Miaka shouted. "Tasuki, let him go!"
Tasuki stared at her, shocked, then let go of Amiboshi's arm. He fell to his hands and knees and stared at the floor.
"He didn't betray us!" Miaka said. "You have to give him credit for at least that much!"
Tasuki mumbled something and backed off. Tamahome sighed and leaned against the wall.
"I'm sorry," Amiboshi whispered to the ground. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry . . . I didn't want to do it. I had no choice. When I volunteered for this -- I volunteered, I wasn't ordered to do this, I did it of my own free will -- I had no idea who you were. You were just names to me, no faces, no personalities. It didn't matter to me if I killed you then. It does now. I can't kill you, I can't betray you. I'm sorry."
There was a long silence.
"Get off the floor, will ya?" Tasuki asked, sounding more irritated than concerned. "You look pathetic."
Amiboshi looked up.
Nuriko reached a hand down to help him up, and he slowly climbed to his feet. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over and saw Mitsukake. There was still trust in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Amiboshi repeated softly.
"It's all right, no da," Chichiri said.
Amiboshi was still staring at them, puzzled. "That's it?" he finally asked. "You're going to forgive me, just like that? I nearly betrayed you!"
Nuriko shrugged. "But you didn't."
"But I was *going* to!"
"But you *didn't*!" Tasuki yelled, still angry. "Look, if you don't want forgiveness that's fine with me, I'll fucking kick the crap out of you if that's what you *really* want me to do, but somehow I didn't think that was what you wanted!"
"Tasuki, you *are* in front of an altar, you know," Nuriko said.
Tasuki rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry."
Amiboshi ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "Nakago's going to *kill* me," he told them. "Maybe that's why I was hoping you would. I think I'd rather have you kill me than him."
"I can understand that," Tamahome said, thinking back to his days in Kutou.
Amiboshi felt a tingling in his arm and groaned.
"What is it?" Miaka asked.
"Suboshi," Amiboshi said, sighing. "This isn't going to be easy."
The others looked at each other, recognizing the name. "Another Seiryuu Seishi?" Mitsukake asked.
"My brother," Amiboshi answered. "My younger twin brother. We can communicate with each other."
Tasuki's eyes narrowed. "That's how Nakago knows what's going on here, ne? Like when we got Tamahome back to normal, Nakago knew about it, because ya told your brother?"
Amiboshi nodded. "I'm sorry. It . . . it was my duty. As a Seiryuu Seishi."
Hotohori sighed. "We understand."
Amiboshi looked at his arm.
"What's happening?" Suboshi wanted to know.
Miaka leaned over and looked at the message. "Just tell him the ceremony hasn't started yet," she suggested.
"I've never lied to my brother in my life . . . " Amiboshi whispered. He closed his eyes for a minute, then wrote, "Nothing yet," on his arm.
He looked up at the others for a minute, who were all looking at him, concerned. "I -- I think I want to go back to my room," he said softly.
"You've had a rough day, no da," Chichiri said sympathetically.
Amiboshi slowly turned and walked out of the room.
A few minutes later, the soft sounds of a flute were heard coming from the direction of his room. The song was slow and mournful.
"Someone should go talk to him, no da," Chichiri suggested.
"Not me," Tasuki said. "I'd just end up arguing with the kid again."
"Consoling people isn't your strong point," Nuriko said dryly. He raised his eyebrows at Chichiri. "It was your suggestion."
"Daaa!" Chichiri said. "I have to do *everything,* no da!" He looked around at the others. Tasuki wouldn't be any help. Hotohori and Mitsukake weren't talkers by trade, and he doubted either of them would be of much use. Tamahome and Miaka were both too disappointed by the way things had turned out. Nuriko looked at him and shrugged.
"It's either you or me," he said. "And I don't know Chir -- Amiboshi that well. So that makes it you."
Chichiri sighed. "All right, all right, no da!"
~~~
In his room, Amiboshi flopped down on the bed. "Now you're *really* in trouble," he told himself. "You can't expect them to keep you here any more, but you certainly can't go back to Kutou. Nakago's going to skin you alive! This is a great situation you've gotten yourself into!"
He stood up abruptly and kicked at the wall. "How can they just forgive me like that?" he wondered aloud. "I could *never* do that! Well . . . I could, I guess . . . but why should *they*?!"
He sat down and pulled out his flute. He knew it would be the only way he would be able to find peace. He began to play a tune he'd learned just before becoming one of the Seiryuu Seishi. Before Nakago had discovered him, it had just been him and his brother against the whole world. And now it was just him against the whole world. How on earth would he be able to tell Suboshi what had happened? He'd probably be able to make his brother understand if he could see him face to face and explain things properly. But he didn't dare go back to Kutou. Nakago would be waiting.
There was a soft knock on the door, but he didn't hear it over the sound of his music. He was facing away from the door, so he didn't notice when it opened and Chichiri came in. He sat in a chair and waited for Amiboshi to finish his song.
Amiboshi lowered his flute with a sigh. He felt a little better, but he wasn't any closer to knowing what to do.
"You okay no da?" Chichiri asked, echoing himself from earlier that day.
Amiboshi shook his head, not turning around.
Chichiri sighed.
"I don't know what to do," Amiboshi said to the wall, still not facing the blue-haired monk. "I'm in trouble either way. I can't go back to Kutou. I doubt you'd let me stay here. So now what?"
Chichiri frowned. "Why can't you stay here, no da?"
Amiboshi finally turned around. "Were you planning on letting me stay here after I almost killed you all?"
"Well, I don't know about the others, but I was planning on asking you to come with us and help us look for Chiriko, no da," Chichiri answered.
Amiboshi blinked. "Really?" was all he could think of to say.
"Sure, no da. You could be a great help to us. You've already saved Miaka's life twice, no da."
"You've probably saved her more often than that," Amiboshi said, almost smiling. He *had* saved Miaka's life, hadn't he. It was good to remember. Did that make up for almost killing her?
"I've been around longer, no da," Chichiri said. "What about your brother, no da?"
Amiboshi's face fell. "I'm lost there," he said. "I can't go get him, but I don't think he has any way to come here. Even if he did, I'm not sure he would. Shunkaku is -- extremely loyal. Especially to Seiryuu no Miko."
"Shunkaku is your brother, no da?"
"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I always forget to call him Suboshi. I mean, I've called him Shunkaku since the day we were born, so it's hard to call him anything else."
"Well, if you could help us look for Chiriko, we can call Suzaku, no da. Things will probably be much easier then, no da."
Amiboshi agreed. "I just need to find something to tell Suboshi," he said. "I don't know what to tell him. I kept asking him not to communicate with me because I was afraid you would see the writing on my arm and ask me about it, and I didn't have a way to explain it. But he kept writing, every day, 'What's happening?' " Amiboshi smiled.
"You miss him, don't you, no da," Chichiri said softly.
"Yeah," Amiboshi answered. "I've been taking care of him my whole life. It's weird to not know what he's doing." He sighed a little. "Well, I'll think of something to tell him, I guess. I'll just say the ceremony's been delayed and I'll make up some reason why."
Chichiri hesitated, then asked, "Do you think he'll be okay, no da? What about -- "
"Nakago," Amiboshi said darkly. "I wouldn't put anything past him. He probably has spies here, spying on me to make sure I do my job. I don't know what to do."
Chichiri reached up and took off his mask. Amiboshi glanced up, then looked back down at the floor.
"I think your brother will be okay," Chichiri said softly. "At least we know Nakago can't kill him, since he's a Seiryuu Seishi, no da. We'll find Chiriko as quickly as we can, and then you can get back to him, no da."
Amiboshi looked up and managed a smile. "Thanks, Chichiri."
Chichiri smiled and put his mask back on. "Daaa, no thanks needed. You should come have some dinner, no da. It's getting late." He stood up and headed for the door. After a minute, Amiboshi followed him.
~~~
"Suboshi."
Suboshi's head snapped up at the sound of his name being spoken. "Nakago-sama," he said after a second. He was never sure what it was about Nakago that bothered him so much. Maybe it was because the Shogun was always so calm, so collected. Suboshi had never once seen Nakago lose his cool, not even when he'd found out that Tamahome had been returned to his normal Suzaku self. He'd been a little upset, but not much. Why bother being upset? They had Amiboshi posing as Chiriko and so losing Tamahome wasn't that big a deal. Still, Nakago's calm self-control unnerved Suboshi, who lost his own cool at least three times an hour, more if Yui or Amiboshi was around.
"Have you heard anything from Amiboshi?"
Suboshi nodded. "Hai. He -- " Suboshi paused and swallowed. "He says the ceremony's being delayed. Suzaku no Miko's become ill."
Nakago frowned. "My other spies haven't reported that."
Suboshi shuffled his feet nervously. "Well, that's what Amiboshi said." Please, Aniki, please don't be in trouble . . .
"Hmm," Nakago said. "I'll have to check." He walked away, leaving Suboshi confused and anxious in the middle of the hallway.
It was only about half an hour before a guard approached him and told him Nakago wanted to speak with him. Suboshi gulped. He didn't know what kind of spies Nakago had that could get back to him so quickly, and he wasn't sure he *wanted* to know.
He entered the room uncertainly, and waited for Nakago to speak, because he had no idea what he was supposed to say.
"Suzaku no Miko is not ill," Nakago told him.
"Oh," Suboshi said, and shut his mouth, because there really wasn't anything else he could say.
"The Suzaku Seishi have discovered your brother's identity."
Suboshi's eyes widened. "They what?!" *Aniki, why didn't you tell me? What's going on?* He remembered, wincing, the conversation they'd had the night before. Sure, Amiboshi had seemed a little reluctant, but Suboshi had had no idea that he would . . . would . . . well, what exactly *had* he done?
"Do you know anything about this?" Nakago asked.
Suboshi blinked. "I -- I -- I guess maybe -- but not -- well -- "
Nakago's eyes narrowed.
"I talked to him last night," Suboshi finally managed to spit out. "He seemed -- he didn't want to kill them -- but he said he was going to anyway. He said they were his -- his friends." Suboshi bit his lip nervously and looked up to see how Nakago was taking this. On the whole, the Shogun seemed to be taking it better than Suboshi himself.
"What else?" Nakago asked, when it became clear that Suboshi wasn't about to continue.
"Nothing! He said he didn't want to, but it was his duty, so he would anyway. He never said *anything* about telling them who he was, not one thing!" Suboshi crossed his arms and glared at Nakago defiantly.
There was a long silence.
"Did he tell them?" Suboshi finally asked. "Or did they find out themselves?"
"My informant was uncertain," Nakago said. "However, it does appear that Amiboshi told them himself." He shook his head. "He was weak."
Suboshi immediately got angry. "Don't -- " he stopped dead, remembering who he was talking to before he could get the rest of the sentence out.
"Don't talk about your brother like that?" Nakago asked, smirking. "Why not? It's true. He'll stay there, probably, with his 'friends.' Hmm . . . There must be a way to make him come back."
"Why do you want him, if he's so weak?" Suboshi asked sarcastically.
"We need him to call Seiryuu," Nakago said quietly. "What's he doing now?"
Suboshi hesitated, then wrote on his arm, "What's happening?"
A few seconds passed, then a message came back: "Can't talk now. I'm at dinner."
Suboshi showed it to Nakago wordlessly.
"And still he lies," Nakago said softly.
Suboshi bit his lip to keep quiet.
Nakago took hold of Suboshi's wrist and began to trace letters on his arm.
"What are you doing?" Suboshi asked, getting a little nervous.
"I'm writing a message to your brother," Nakago said. "I think it's time he and I talked."
Suboshi watched in apprehension until Nakago had finished writing. He didn't get seriously worried until Nakago let go of his wrist and he saw what was written on his arm.
~~~