So, ah. Authors notes? This is in response to the game fic challenge. It's just for fun, really. There's probably going to be a companion fic for the DOH side of things, as well.
This can sort of be considered a side story to Atropos, but only because of the way we did the characterization. It can certainly be read without having read Atropos. It is indeed an X/1999 fic. Of sorts.
Warnings: Innuendo, mild violence, lots of poker. You don't really need to know how the game works in order to understand the fic.
A little bit of terminology:
"five card draw" is a form of poker, the most simple kind to play.
"Ante up" is when you throw in your first chip to join the game. If you don't ante, you can't be in the round.
"Showing the ace": If you try to turn in four cards in a hand of five card stud, your fifth card has to be an ace and you have to show the dealer.
"Deuces wild" means that the twos are the wild cards.
Flush, straight, and full house are all hands of cards.
"Minna-san" is a polite way of saying "everyone".
Disclaimer: And again, we don't own them. Damn it.
Poker Night
(Or: Witness the Authors Being Unoriginal)
“I still don’t see why we couldn’t play strip poker,” Fuuma grumbled, sweeping the large pile of chips on the table towards himself.
“Because there are children present,” Kakyou lectured, just as Nataku voice his own thoughts of “I didn’t want to, Daddy.”
Fuuma muttered something uncomplimentary about not wanting to see Satsuki naked anyway underneath his breath and dealt another hand. For some reason, they had wound up playing poker. Simple five-card draw. The beginners hadn’t felt like learning anything more complicated.
They had agreed that those used to playing (Seishirou, Fuuma, and surprisingly enough, Yuuto) would go easy on the newcomers until they had learned some proficiency at the game. This theory had been dropped after Nataku and Satsuki had each won three games in a row. The first six, to be precise.
After that, Fuuma had declared the game was starting over, and chips being redistributed. Satsuki didn’t seem to think that was fair, but some “persuasion” on Fuuma’s part had changed her mind.
Everyone anted up and Fuuma dealt out the cards. There was a pause while everyone examined their hands with perfect poker faces. Fuuma had never seen such a batch of straight faces. He resisted the urge to look over Kakyou’s shoulder and peek at his cards. It would probably get him punched. Or at least . . .
“Remember that sex we were planning on having?” Kakyou asked mildly, apparently either reading Fuuma’s mind or body posture. “Ever again?”
“Harsh,” Seishirou commented, lighting up his second cigarette.
“You might want to think about losing,” Satsuki advised Fuuma coolly.
“Bastards, all of you,” Fuuma muttered. “Okay, who’s first?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Nataku said, hurt. “And I’d like three cards.”
Fuuma slid three across the table to him. “Seishirou?”
“Three for me as well.”
Yuuto also asked for three.
“I’ll have four,” Satsuki said.
“Show me that ace, toots.”
Satsuki gave him a dirty look and displayed the ace for Fuuma’s perusal. “Do you want me to drain your bank account?”
“Damn, everyone’s threatening me tonight,” Fuuma said, and gave her four cards. “’Kyou?”
“One.”
“Ballsy. I like.” Fuuma gave him a card and then turned in three of his own. “Make your bets, lady and gents.”
“Ten,” Nataku said.
Seishirou looked disgusted, but put ten in.
“I fold,” Yuuto said, gracefully turning his cards over and pouring himself another glass of iced tea from the pitcher on the table.
Satsuki and Kakyou both matched.
“My hands blows royally, so I’m gone,” Fuuma said.
Nataku raised another ten. Seishirou tossed his cards into the center of the table and muttered something about it being unfair playing with characters who could do statistics in their heads. Satsuki smiled sweetly and matched Nataku’s ten, as did Kakyou.
“I call,” Kakyou said.
“Display your cards,” Fuuma intoned, and got whapped over the head by Kakyou.
“Three kings,” Nataku said, displaying his. Satsuki and Kakyou both groaned. Both only had a pair of aces.
“Is that coincidence?” Seishirou asked. “I think you two are cheating.”
“Yes,” Satsuki said. “We’re cheating to lose.”
Seishirou blew smoke in her face. “I didn’t say you were good at it.”
Fuuma shuffled the cards. “Ante up, people.”
There were some grumbles, but everyone tossed in the plain white chip that signified the beginning of the game as Fuuma dealt more cards. Yuuto poured Satsuki another glass of tea. Seishirou stubbed out his cigarette.
“Deuces wild,” Fuuma declared, before he picked up his hand.
“I’ll have three, please,” Nataku said.
“Two for me.” Seishirou.
“Three here as well.” Yuuto.
“I’m staying,” Satsuki said with a sweet smile that looked totally out of place. Everyone blinked at her.
“Three for me,” Kakyou said. Fuuma discarded three of his own and dealt out the new cards.
There was a general moment of thought before a mass betting war began. They knew already that Satsuki had a good hand, as was evidenced by the fact that she hadn’t turned anything in. Yuuto, Fuuma, and Kakyou all gave up quickly.
“Can I ask a question, Daddy?”
“Sure, Kazuki.” Fuuma looked at him curiously.
“Since Satsuki didn’t discard anything, she must have had five cards she already wanted, right? So it has to be a flush, straight, or full house?”
“Yes,” Fuuma said.
“I fold,” Nataku stated.
Seishirou was looking at his hand. “I second that,” he said, putting his cards facedown on the table.
Satsuki pouted. “Thanks, you number-crunching freak,” she grumbled.
“Just because you can only count to zero and one isn’t my fault,” Nataku said.
Fuuma snorted. “Computer geek humor. What’s the world coming to?”
“An end, remember?” Seishirou asked, smirking.
Kakyou sighed. “I wasn’t going to say it. I was trying not to ruin the mood.”
Seishirou flipped him off.
“Mature,” Kakyou said.
“If you wanted maturity in your men, you certainly wouldn’t be dating him,” Seishirou said mildly, pouring himself some tea. “More tea, anyone?”
“But he’s so sexy,” Kakyou said with a smirk, half-crawling into Fuuma’s lap. “And yes, more tea.”
Seishirou poured him more, as well as Fuuma and Nataku. “If I’d known it was going to be family night, I would have brought cookies.”
Nataku perked up. “I like cookies.”
“So where is Kanoe?” Satsuki asked, trying to change the subject.
“Maybe she took her breasts out for a walk,” Fuuma suggested.
“They needed an outing,” Kakyou said.
“I don’t know why,” Nataku said, looking blank. “They get plenty of fresh air with the clothes she wears.”
Everyone stared at him.
“Astute, isn’t he,” Seishirou observed.
“It’s scary sometimes,” Fuuma said with a nod.
“I’m young,” Nataku said. “Not stupid.”
Fuuma cleared his throat and stole one of Seishirou’s cigarettes. “You should’ve brought your Sumeragi, Seishirou. I’m sure he would’ve loved to come . . . especially if we’d played strip poker.”
Seishirou gave him a cool look. “Yes, most likely. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like sharing him with anyone here.”
“None of us are that lecherous,” Satsuki told him.
Seishirou turned to Fuuma. “Given the possibility that Kakyou did not exist, would you or would you not sleep with Subaru-kun?”
Fuuma gave it due thought. “Hell yes. But since he does, I think Subaru would be safe from my predatory clutches. Unlike yours.” He paused. “And yours are pedophilic, too, so I don’t really see how you can get so high and mighty over me.”
“I invited Kusanagi-san as well,” Yuuto interrupted, trying yet again to steer the subject away from such sensitive matters. “But he apparently didn’t feel the need to attend.”
“Imagine my total shock,” Fuuma said dryly.
Seishirou took the cards from him. “Ante up.”
He dealt and they began the ritual of turning in cards. Yuuto won the round with a sizable pile of chips, due to his straight beating out both Seishirou and Satsuki’s three-of-a-kind.
“Kanoe’s still sore that we’re not bowing at her every whim and call,” Fuuma said, taking the cards back from Seishirou. “Honestly, you’d think she was the Kamui for all the pompousness she exhibits.”
“Especially since she can’t do anything but spy on her wobbly-headed sister’s dreams,” Kakyou added.
Seishirou snorted. “Bitter much?”
“Yes,” Kakyou said. “Whatever gave you that idea?”
“I’d have to say it was your tone of voice and inflection,” Seishirou said. “I also noted that you were clutching your cards so tightly that your knuckles were turning white.”
Kakyou looked at his cards, then lobbed them at Seishirou’s head.
Seishirou ducked and smiled. “You have to be observant in my trade, you know.”
“What trade is that?” Fuuma asked, amused. “Seducing teenaged boys?”
“Better than sexually torturing them,” Seishirou said. “What with the neck licking and everything you’re fond of doing to Kamui.”
“Let’s not get cruel here,” Kakyou spoke up.
“More tea, anyone?” Yuuto asked.
“Dear God, yes,” Kakyou said, nervously tugging on Fuuma’s sleeve.
Seishirou smiled at Kakyou. “Well, maybe you could enlighten me. Does he do that with you, too, or is that just Kamui that he likes to molest?”
“What, does he lick my neck?” Kakyou asked. “Of course. He licks other things, too. Would we care to continue?”
Satsuki wrinkled her nose and looked faintly disgusted.
“Perhaps we might,” Seishirou said pleasantly. “I’m curious about this. Does it involve all the blood and the screaming and crying and begging that his relationship with Kamui does? Because if so - ”
He paused. Fuuma had thrown his glass of tea at him, causing him to duck abruptly.
“Did you have an argument with Subaru earlier?” Kakyou asked Seishirou.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no,” Seishirou said.
“Ah . . . more tea, Monou-san?” Yuuto asked, getting another glass.
“Nah. I’m good, thanks.”
Seishirou dealt out another hand of cards.
“Two.” Satsuki.
“Three, if you please.” Yuuto.
“Two.” Kakyou.
“Four, you arrogant bastard, and here’s an ace to stick up your ass.” Fuuma flashed him the ace and a wide grin.
“Three, please.” Nataku.
Seishirou turned in two cards of his own and dealt out the second hand. Everyone examined their cards. Betting started at ten. Yuuto dropped out. At twenty, Satsuki and Kakyou also folded. Nataku gave up at forty. Seishirou and Fuuma were left tossing chips into the pile.
When it got up to eighty, Seishirou started to get slightly worried. Not that there was any sign of this on his face. “I fold,” he finally said at one hundred and ten. “But whatever you have had better be good - I had a full house.”
Fuuma just smiled and gathered the chips to his corner of the table.
“Did you have anything, you power-crazed sadistic bastard?” Seishirou asked suspiciously.
“Sure,” Fuuma said. “I had a queen, and a jack, and an eight, and a seven, and a four.”
Seishirou considered this. “Balls,” he finally proclaimed, and picked up the cards. “All right, we’ll call it even.”
Kakyou and Nataku both took this opportunity to burst out laughing. Yuuto poured Satsuki more tea.
The game continued in like fashion, though with somewhat less catcalling and insults, and lasted well into the night. Kakyou, as the one with the least experience and math skills, was the first to lose all his chips. He consoled himself with the fact that he’d had no formal education anyway.
“You’re cute when you pout,” Fuuma told him.
Kakyou made a face.
Seishirou lit another cigarette.
Yuuto was the next to succumb, but did so with his usual gentlemanly grace. Satsuki was not far behind him; though she had more than enough skill with numbers, she couldn’t tell a bluff to save her life. Given that Seishirou and Fuuma were both excellent at that, two long games did away with the rest of her chips.
Nataku finally lost when Seishirou bluffed his socks off; though the bioroid could read Fuuma easily, he was not quite as good at anticipating the assassin. “You’re so mean,” he said, dropping and giving his last two chips to Fuuma.
At this point, it was half past one in the morning. Fuuma and Seishirou had both amassed huge piles of chips.
“If we play this out,” Seishirou said, “we’re both going to be sitting here until dawn. How about we do the manly thing and call it a draw?”
Fuuma considered it. As much as he wanted to kick Seishirou’s ass, he had to admit that it would take a long time, and even then would be no sure thing. They were so evenly matched that they could play back and forth across the table for days, most likely. “Deal,” he said.
“Too bad we weren’t playing for real money,” Yuuto said with a yawn.
“Yeah, too bad,” Satsuki said sourly.
He laughed. “Don’t be bitter, Satsuki. It’s the fun of playing the game that matters. And if it’s not that, it’s the fun of watching Monou-san and Sakurazuka-san try to kill each other with glares.”
Satsuki laughed.
“In any case, I have to be at work at nine,” Yuuto said. “So you’ll pardon me for leaving. Oyasumi, minna-san.”
Nataku yawned. “I’m going to bed,” he mumbled sleepily.
“Me as well,” Satsuki said with a sigh. “I’m not used to being up this late.”
When the three of them had departed, Seishirou raised an eyebrow at Fuuma. “So now what?”
“Now,” Fuuma said with a smirk, “we play strip poker.”
~~~
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