Part Three
Subaru woke up with a throbbing headache, but at least, he reflected, he could breathe again. It was also the first time in weeks that he hadn’t woken up to the alarm clock. He fumbled sleepily on the bedside table for his watch and saw that it was half past ten. Puzzled, he turned over to see Seishirou sound asleep beside him.
Still a little disturbed by what had happened the day before, Subaru snuggled closer, deciding, for now, not to think. He didn’t really care what Seishirou was still doing home at ten thirty in the morning; he was too busy being glad that he was there.
At the movement, Seishirou’s eyes opened and he glanced over at Subaru. “Ohayo,” he said. “You feeling any better?”
“My head aches, but it’s not worse than that,” Subaru said. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
Seishirou yawned. “I quit.”
Subaru blinked.
“The alarm went off at six thirty like usual and it didn’t wake you up, which worried me a little since it always does. So I was going to call in again, then I remembered that I hate my job, so I quit.” He gave Subaru a friendly poke on the arm. “You make enough to support us both, right?”
Subaru laughed. “I don’t make enough to support us both and put Johnny through school.”
“He got a scholarship.”
“I know, but I’m still in debt from those first couple years.”
“You are not,” Seishirou said with a laugh. “If Johnny thought it had been straining your budget even the slightest, he wouldn’t have let you do it. You know how much Johnny hates charity.”
“Believe me, I remember how hard it was getting him to accept it so he could go to school in the first place,” Subaru said, rolling his eyes. “As if he wanted to keep working at a Soapland his entire life.”
“Anyway, the point is that you make enough money to support us.”
“I suppose I do,” Subaru said, “You’re the one who’s insisted on working all these years.”
“Well,” Seishirou said indignantly, “it is the man of the house’s job, after all.”
Subaru gaped at him for a minute before a familiar smirk let him know that Seishirou was joking. “Bastard,” Subaru said mildly, giving Seishirou a half-hearted whack over the top of the head. “Be nice, I had a rough day yesterday.”
“It was more like last night, really.”
Subaru paused, rubbing his forehead. “Yeah, there’s a point. What happened after I passed out?”
“Not much. The guy with the glasses called a taxi for us, I brought you home, and put you to bed. You were worn out.”
“Yeah, that spell takes it out of me,” Subaru said with a sigh. “We should probably go over and see how Kamui’s doing.”
“What about noninvolvement?”
Subaru gave him a Look. One of those Looks that says ‘shape up or you’ll be sleeping on the sofa.’
“Never mind,” Seishirou said.
“I thought you’d see it my way.”
****
“Not here?” Subaru blinked at the door in perplexity. “Where do you think they’ve gone?”
Seishirou lifted his hands in surrender. “He’s your Kamui, can’t you find him?”
For a second, Subaru looked like he might get irritated at that statement, then nodded. “I suppose I can.” He turned away and began to walk purposefully. About twenty minutes later, they ended up in a small clearing. “Oh,” Subaru said softly.
“Where are we?” Seishirou whispered.
“I think they’re having Kotori’s funeral,” Subaru replied in a low voice.
“Hello, Subaru-san!” a familiar and always cheerful voice called out. “What brings you here?”
Subaru turned to see Nokoru Imonoyama and his two loyal shadows. He’d gotten to know the other man while he’d been getting Johnny into CLAMP campus -- Johnny’s thoroughly odd background had needed some special scheduling, since he was far behind in some things and far ahead in others. “Ohayo, Rijichou, Suoh-san, Akira-san,” he said politely. “I’m here to see Kamui.”
“Oh, yes, you’re one of his Seals, aren’t you,” Nokoru mused.
Subaru blinked at him, having not been aware that Nokoru knew the identity of the Seals. Then again, with all of CLAMP campus behind him, Subaru reflected, there was probably very little that Nokoru didn’t know. “Hai . . . do you know where he is?”
“Beyond those trees, but I think he’s talking to Sorata,” Nokoru said. “Everyone should be here, soon, then we’ll start the funeral.”
Subaru nodded soberly. “How did Kamui come to be staying on CLAMP campus?” he asked curiously.
“His aunt Tokiko was an acquaintance of mine,” Nokoru said. “I also happened to be keeping the Shinken for him. Anyway, Tokiko asked me if I could take care of him, after her death.” He smiled. “This is safest place I can think of, especially with that computer on the loose . . .”
Subaru blinked. “Excuse me?”
Nokoru shrugged. “One of the Angels seems to have a supercomputer of some sort. It keeps trying to break through our security, but no luck so far.” He smiled angelically.
“Speaking of computers,” Subaru said with a small smile, “Seishirou quit his job. Don’t suppose you’d have an opening for him?”
Nokoru laughed. “Sorry, but not right now.” He looked at Seishirou. “Frankly, I’m surprised you’re here. Being an Angel at all.”
“Is there anything you don’t know?” Subaru asked.
“Very little,” Nokoru answered with a grin. “I meant to ask you two what you were going to be doing about that.”
Subaru lifted his hands in surrender.
“We were going to sit on the sidelines,” Seishirou said, “until somebody had to get attached to Kamui.” He gave Subaru a playful poke in the ribs to show that he didn’t really mean it.
“Seriously,” Subaru said, ignoring the older man, “we’re really just waiting to see what will happen.”
“Always a wise move,” Nokoru said with a nod.
Before any of them could speak further, Kamui and Sorata came out of the sheltered grove they’ve been in. “Subaru,” Kamui said, sounding surprised.
Subaru smiled at him. “Are you feeling better?”
“Hai, I’m . . . fine,” Kamui answered. “Are you?”
Subaru nodded. “That spell just tires me out, that’s all.”
“That’s what he told us,” Sorata said with a nod. “I think everyone’s here, so should we . . .”
Everyone nodded and moved into the clearing where the others were waiting. There was a round of introductions, which passed mostly uneventfully except for a brief but odd exchange between Seiichirou and Karen, and the funny looks Seishirou got when he introduced himself with his full name.
We’re all together, Subaru thought. It feels . . . right.
After the funeral, Sorata pulled him and Seishirou aside. “Mind if I speak with you for a second?”
“What’s the problem?” Subaru asked.
“There’s no problem,” Sorata said hastily. “I’m just . . . wondering about something . . . Seishirou-san . . . are you the . . .?”
“Yes,” Seishirou answered.
Sorata laughed nervously. “That’s what I thought.” He paused. “Ano . . . Subaru, I spoke to your grandmother the other day . . .”
“I know, she called me.” Subaru rolled his eyes.
Sorata cleared his throat and said delicately, “She seems to think the two of you are on less-then-good terms.”
“Oh, we know,” Subaru said. “We have every intention of keeping it that way, really. She’d have a brain hemhorrage if she knew I lived with the Sakurazukamori.” He smiled at Sorata’s surprised look. “It’s a long story, really, but can be summed up as follows: we were supposed to fight each other for all eternity, but fell in love by accident along the way, and decided that fighting each other was stupid.”
Seishirou laughed. “That does sum it up pretty well.”
“You should tell Kamui that story,” Sorata said.
“He knows already. Why do you say so?” Subaru asked.
Sorata shrugged. “Kamui has a nothing-ever-turns-out-all-right complex. Not that I really blame him, but a good happy story might do him some good.”
“Well,” Seishirou said, draping an arm around Subaru’s shoulders, “Subaru and I have hardly made it past the finish line. We’re still on opposite sides in the coming battle.”
“Oh.” Sorata looked downcast. “Well, I’m sure you’ll work it out. Just like Miss and me!” he exclaimed as Arashi walked over to them. “Right, Miss?”
Arashi elbowed Sorata in the stomach, then turned to Subaru. “Kamui would like to speak with you.”
“Oh,” Subaru said, glancing between Sorata and Arashi, then deciding not to ask. He turned to Seishirou. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Seishirou nodded.
Subaru followed Arashi over to where Kamui was sitting, talking to a small bird. He waited patiently until Kamui was done and then smiled reassuringly at him. “Arashi said you wanted to talk to me?”
“I had a question,” Kamui said softly.
Subaru sat down on the bench next to him and lit up a cigarette, waiting.
“How did you know . . . last night . . . to come?”
Subaru shrugged. “Seals can always tell when their Kamui is in trouble.”
“Oh.” Kamui looked downcast.
“And I had a dream . . .” Subaru said softly.
“Is that how you knew what happened?” Kamui asked.
Subaru nodded.
“Do you mind, that I saw . . . what happened with your neesan?”
Subaru shrugged. “It’s a risk whenever you go into someone’s heart. You have to open to them, if you want them to properly open to you.”
“That’s not what I asked,” Kamui said.
Subaru half-smiled. “Nothing gets by you, does it.” He took a drag on his cigarette and shrugged. “It’s not that I minded you seeing it per se . . . it’s more like I never wanted to see it again.”
“Oh,” Kamui said.
“But don’t worry about it,” Subaru said. “As I said, it’s a risk, and I knew it.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself, you know.”
Subaru blinked at Kamui, who drew his knees to his chest, hugging them.
“I know I’m hardly one to talk,” Kamui said slowly, “but you couldn’t do anything about your neesan.”
“Because I wouldn’t leave my heart,” Subaru said softly.
“Because you couldn’t,” Kamui corrected, just as softly. “No more than I could have last night before you came.” He looked up at Subaru anxiously. “Really, how would your neesan feel if she knew you still blamed yourself?”
A ghost of a smile touched Subaru’s face. “Put out,” he said succintly. “She would be very irritated with me. Then again, she usually was.”
Kamui laughed slightly.
“My neesan and I have had this conversation, believe me,” Subaru said wryly. “I’m not an onmyouji for nothing. At first I thought I shouldn’t disturb her rest, then I realized she wasn’t moving on anyway, so . . .”
“Why not?” Kamui asked.
Subaru paused, speaking slowly, going over the exact terms in his mind. “Well . . . at first she was worried about me, because Seishirou still had no emotions and I was trying to get through to him . . . then she was trying to talk to her boyfriend, who had tried to kill himself when she died and wouldn’t come out of a coma . . . then he died, but he didn’t move on, so she decided not to either.”
Kamui looked curious. “Why didn’t he move on?”
“I’m not sure,” Subaru said slowly. “But if I had to make a guess, it’s because destiny’s not quite done with him yet.”
Kamui looked puzzled, but didn’t ask any more questions, realizing that the topic had somehow shifted. “Well, you shouldn’t feel guilty. She may still have died, if you hadn’t done that.”
“I know,” Subaru said, finishing his cigarette and stubbing it out. “But I’ll always wonder.”
“Subaru,” Kamui said slowly, “if your neesan hadn’t died, would you have Seishirou right now?”
Subaru paused, thinking this over for a long second. “You know, I’m not sure.”
“Then stop feeling guilty,” Kamui instructed.
Subaru smiled. “I will when you will.”
Kamui looked steadfastly at the ground. “We’re guilty for different reasons. I was right there,” he said stubbornly. “I should have been able to do something.”
“Yes,” Subaru said softly. “You should have. If the universe was kinder. But you couldn’t. And that, Kamui, is what isn’t your fault.”
Kamui blinked up at him.
Subaru gave him a quick hug.
“Does it ever stop hurting?” Kamui whispered into his shoulder.
Subaru’s arms tightened around him. “No,” he replied softly. “It never does. But it gets better. I promise.”
Kamui sniffled and pulled away. “Thanks, Subaru.”
Subaru smiled. “Any time.”
****
“So that’s why Kakyou didn’t move on,” Seishirou mused, poking at his dinner. “I had wondered.”
“You and me both,” Subaru said with a nod. “Not to even mention him and Hokuto.”
“Well,” Seishirou said, “what can a dead person do, really?”
“It depends on what his power was in the first place,” Subaru said with a helpless shrug. “For example, Sorata deals with electricity . . . I think . . . and I don’t think a dead person would be able to do that. But Kakyou was a Dreamgazer. He could see the future. Which means, if the Angels had someone who could communicate with the dead, then they would still be able to use him. Because theoretically he can still see the future.”
Seishirou paused with a forkful halfway to his mouth. “You see where this is heading, don’t you?”
Subaru nodded, rubbing his temples. “None of the Seals are onmyouji except me. Therefore it would stand to reason that none of the Angels are except you.”
“Great,” Seishirou said, pushing his dinner aside. “Two reasons for them to be after me. Shouldn’t the Angels have a Dreamgazer already, like Hinoto?”
Subaru raised his hands in surrender. “In theory, yes. But I don’t know.” He half-smiled. “I’m not really on close personal terms with any of the Angels, except for you. And Kakyou, I suppose.”
“Well,” Seishirou said after a pause. “Even if I were to bring Kakyou back for their purposes, they’d have one hell of a hard time getting him to agree.”
“Hokuto would have his head,” Subaru agreed with a wry smile. “But they don’t know that.”
Seishirou sighed. There was a rumbling outside.
“Another earthquake?” Subaru asked.
“I think just thunder,” Seishirou replied. “It’s started raining.” He made a face, then looked at Subaru. “You okay on your own tonight?”
Subaru nodded. “You have work to do?” he surmised.
Seishirou took a drink of his tea. “Yeah. Sorry.”
Subaru shrugged. “Not your fault. Someday I’m going to just take an axe to that damned Tree, though, if it keeps interrupting my sex life like this.”
Seishirou let out a startled laugh. “Two nights in a row. How will we survive?”
“Well, since you quit, we have all day tomorrow . . .” Subaru said thoughtfully.
Seishirou smirked.
“Be careful,” Subaru said quietly.
“I always am,” Seishirou said. He gave Subaru a quick kiss, or at least he intended it to be a quick kiss, but Subaru had other ideas and it turned into a long and involved kiss. After a long minute, he pulled away. “Keep that up and I’ll never be able to leave.”
“I know,” Subaru said with a grin.
Seishirou half-smiled. “The sooner I go, the sooner I’m done. I’ll try to be back before you go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Subaru reluctantly let Seishirou go.
****
It would have to be raining, Seishirou thought irritably, pushing his sopping wet hair out of his face and trying vainly to light a cigarette. Business was over, the Tree had stopped nagging, and it was time to go in, but he wanted a cigarette first and he was trying to light it while under the shelter of the sakura.
He felt the presence long before the other man spoke up. “Those are bad for you, you know.”
Seishirou sighed melodramatically. “Why does everyone tell me that?” He turned to see the dark figure leaning against another tree and extended the pack to him. “Want one?”
“Sure.” Fuuma -- though he really wasn’t Fuuma any longer, but Seishirou wasn’t precisely sure how else to think of him; ‘the dark Kamui’ sounded so pretentious -- stepped forward and took a cigarette.
“Perhaps it’s not a good idea to offer a cigarette to a teenager?” Seishirou asked innocently, lighting it for him.
“Most of the things you do aren’t good ideas, Sakurazukamori,” Fuuma said.
“Very true. Did you want something?” Seishirou asked innocently.
“Of course. I want you. Your power.”
“Sorry. You can’t have me. Or my power.” Seishirou took a long drag on his cigarette and watched the young man out of the corner of his eye. Power practically radiated from him. “And you shouldn’t walk around like a beacon. You’ll attract attention.”
Fuuma smiled. “That’s what I want.”
“Of course it is.” Seishirou dropped the cigarette and ground it under his heel. It was past midnight; Subaru would be asleep by now. No reason to hurry home, but he was damned if he was going to stand out in the rain talking to Fuuma. “Now, if you don’t mind, I was just about to go.”
“I don’t mind,” Fuuma said. “I’ll walk with you.”
Seishirou just looked at him.
“That is, if you don’t mind.”
Seishirou knew better than to start a fight over something so stupid. “It’s a free country.” He lit another cigarette before starting out into the storm.
“See, here’s what I don’t understand,” Fuuma said. “I don’t know why you won’t fight for us. It’s your destiny, after all.”
“I don’t like destiny,” Seishirou said. “It nearly ruined my life once, and I don’t plan on giving it another chance.”
Fuuma regarded him for a long minute, a smile playing on his lips. “It’s that skinny onmyouji, isn’t it,” he said. “He mentioned you to Kamui and I, though he didn’t say who you were. Something about fighting against destiny and winning.” His smile widened. “You’ve far from won.”
“I know that,” Seishirou said patiently. “That’s why I’m choosing to stay out of the fighting.”
Fuuma laughed. “As if you and he will last through this anyway! That’s very . . . naive of you, Sakurazukamori. Quite amusing.”
“And what makes you think we won’t?” Seishirou asked, curious in spite of himself.
“Call it a Kamui’s intuition,” Fuuma said. “What makes you think you will?”
“Because,” Seishirou said calmly, “Subaru-kun and I have been through too much to be together to lose to this. He’s a stubborn little bastard, and so am I, so I think we stand a fairly good chance.” He was walking in circles around the park. He had no intention of letting Fuuma know where he lived.
“But, see, there’s a problem,” Fuuma said seriously. “If your loyalty to the onmyouji prevents you from fighting for me, I may just have to get rid of it.”
Seishirou raised an eyebrow.
“Or him,” Fuuma added with a smile.
“If you lay one finger on Subaru,” Seishirou said, voice low and dangerous, “I will certainly not work for you. In fact, I will kill you, and lock your soul away in the Sakurazuka to rot.”
“Well then,” Fuuma said cheerfully, “work for me now, and we’ll avoid that eventuality.”
“Go to hell,” Seishirou said. He was sick of this conversation. Before Fuuma could get another word out, Seishirou disappeared into his illusion, leaving behind only a few sakura petals to show he’d ever been there.
Fuuma debated going after him, but then smiled and leaned against the tree, dropping the cigarette. Really, he reflected, it was only a matter of time.
****
Subaru half-woke when Seishirou crawled into bed next to him, huddling under the covers, trying to warm himself up. “Wha’ time’sit?” Subaru yawned.
“Nearly one. Go back to sleep.”
“You’re freezing . . .” Subaru hugged Seishirou to him, rather than flinching away from his cold skin.
Seishirou allowed his muscles to relax under the warmth that Subaru provided, though he knew the Sumeragi would be getting cold. Now there, he thought sleepily, is a sign of true love. “Thank you, Subaru-kun,” he said, when his teeth had stopped chattering.
“What kept you?” Subaru asked curiously. “I was starting to get worried.”
Seishirou smiled and poked Subaru in the ribs. “You were not. You were sound asleep.”
“Yes, well, if I’d been awake, and realized what time it was, I would have been worried,” Subaru said firmly. “And I notice how neatly you avoided my question.”
“It’s a talent of mine.”
“Seishirou-san . . .”
“I ran into the dark Kamui.”
Subaru tensed next to him, then relaxed again. “Oh?”
“Yes. Quite an interesting little encounter, I thought. He asked why I wasn’t working for him, I answered, he accused me of naivete, I told him he was wrong, he threatened you, and I threatened him, and left.”
“He threatened me?” Subaru sounded dryly amused.
“Of course. I knew he would.”
“I did too,” Subaru said with a sigh.
“Don’t worry,” Seishirou said. “I won’t let him near you.”
“So much for noninvolvement,” Subaru said.
Seishirou rolled his eyes.
There was a long moment of silence, then Subaru reached out and brushed Seishirou’s hair out of his face. He was pale and somehow smaller in the dull light from the street. “Seishirou, you shouldn’t have to do this.”
“Which part?” Seishirou asked.
“You shouldn’t have to fight the dark Kamui.”
“I won’t,” Seishirou said with a shrug. “Not unless he touches you. Besides, he was irritating.”
Subaru laughed quietly. “But . . . you’re right. About noninvolvement. And it’s one thing to ask you to look the other way while I fight . . . but to fight against your own side?” He sat up, drawing his knees to his chest. “I can’t ask that of you.”
“Well.” Seishirou sat up next to him. “For one thing, you’re not. If I fight Fuuma, it’ll be my own choice. And for another thing . . . this has nothing to do with Seals and Angels and the end of the world. He’s threatening you . . . and that’s not acceptable.”
Subaru glanced over at him. “Do you think it’ll come to that?” he asked softly.
Seishirou thought about that for a long moment. “Yes,” he said eventually. “I think it will. Believe me, I don’t want to have to fight the dark Kamui. I’ll avoid it if it’s at all possible. But if he dares even go near you . . . I will deal with him.”
“You shouldn’t have to -- ”
“You’re right,” Seishirou interrupted. “I shouldn’t have to. But before this is over, I will have to.” His eyes were cold. “And I will deal with him, if he hurts you.”
Subaru looked away. “You would be safer . . .” he whispered.
“What?” Seishirou leaned close to him, trying to hear.
Subaru stared steadfastly at his feet. “You would be safer without me,” he said quietly.
Seishirou put a finger under Subaru’s chin and made the younger man look at him. “And you would be safer without me,” he replied. “But really, Subaru-kun . . . when has that ever stopped us from being together?”
Subaru smiled, but his eyes were frightened.
“Don’t worry,” Seishirou said, pulling him close. “I’ll protect you . . . and you’ll protect me. And we’ll be okay.”
Subaru nodded, though part of him still didn’t believe. Part of him kept saying they would be safer on their own, it would be easier, it would be better.
Then Seishirou kissed him, and that little voice got banished to the corners of his mind.
“Together, we can make it through this,” Seishirou whispered into his ear. “Together.”
Subaru closed his eyes and tried to believe.
****