Drabble for Velithya. Spawned from my own growing annoyance.
The Finer Points of OOC
“Sugar?” Seishirou offered Subaru one of the packets that came at their table. At Subaru’s slight nod, he smiled and handed it over. “I’m surprised you came.”
“I’m surprised you asked me. You said you had a question?”
“Yes.”
Subaru arched one eyebrow, indicating he’d like to hear it and know why he was sitting in a diner, having coffee with his nemesis. He was more of a tea person, really. “Well?”
“I was just wondering why it’s so horribly out of character for me to be nice to you,” Seishirou said thoughtfully. “I mean, I’m being nice to you right now, and thus, you suspect something. And dozens of fangirls are posting nasty entries in unspeakable places about how OOC I’m being.”
Subaru’s lips twitched. “You mustn’t let the fangirls get to you, Seishirou-san.”
“I’m serious,” Seishirou said. “My actions in the canon are never explained. Even my last words aren’t written, as such.”
“Well, if you know Japanese speech patterns, one can assume . . .”
“Precisely, but one never does,” Seishirou said dryly. “Given that my actions are never explained, as long as the explanation given is justifiable in the setting, I don’t see why everyone needs to make such a fuss about it. However, whenever I’m characterized as something other than evil incarnate, someone always complains.”
“Tell me about it,” Subaru sighed. “If I read one more fic that includes you breaking my arms and raping me – ”
“In that order? I would never be so uncouth.”
Subaru snorted and sipped his coffee. “Well, you did break my arm in Tokyo Babylon.”
“Yes, but wasn’t I trying to kill you at the time?”
“True, but you didn’t.”
“And see?” Seishirou asked, taking a long drink. “There it is again. The unexplained actions. Why didn’t I kill you then? It could be because I thought it would be boring. Or because I thought I hadn’t quite tortured you enough yet. Or it could have been because I loved you deeply and passionately and couldn’t bear to let you go.” Seishirou frowned slightly. “Really, I’m woefully underdeveloped in the canon, when it comes right down to it.”
“Thus fanfiction,” Subaru pointed out.
“Thus,” Seishirou agreed, “however, no one seems to realize that just about any characterization would fit in with canon as long as it can be justified. I could ravish you here on the table, or punch a hole through your chest, and it would still make sense.”
There was a rather pregnant pause.
“Well, I know which I’d prefer,” Subaru finally said.
Seishirou snorted. “Do you? The fangirls all seem to think that you’re just aching for me to kill you.”
Subaru waved a hand dismissively. “Yes, but the canon portrayal, admittedly, turns me into an angsting, brooding idiot.”
“My point exactly. You’re written out of character far more often than I am.”
“Just because an author wants me to be interesting? Gods forbid.”
Another pause.
“You were ravishing?” Subaru asked.
“Yes, that sounds all right.”
Tokyo Babylon/X Fics
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