All the information about EnmaDaiOh, I got from TK. So blame her if you think it's inaccurate. ^^;;
Chapter Three
Well, offhand I’d say this definitely qualifies as bad. Facing Muraki with no powers would be bad enough under normal circumstances, but given how pissed off he is at me for how I stole Tsuzuki back from him, I’m inclined to say that this just can’t go well. However, I can at least keep my cool. He doesn’t know I don’t have any powers, after all. Not that my having powers usually does me a damn bit of good against Muraki anyway, but I can dream.
So I just nod slightly at him. Must never forget that last time we fought, I won. Not that this is necessarily a good thing. “Hello, Muraki. Are you behind this?” No, that’s not possible. Nobody would send me up against Muraki in this condition, at least, not intentionally.
“No,” he says, confirming my theory. “I just dropped by to see you.” He smiles. Damn do I ever hate it when he smiles. My hands are starting to shake, so I clasp them behind my back, trying to look nonchalant. Akimiya is just standing there. In truth, I think Akimiya may be just as afraid of him as I am. “You seem to be having a bit of trouble, boy.”
So he does know. Damn damn damn. “I don’t imagine you have anything to do with that, do you?”
He chuckles slightly. “You have a suspicious nature. Are you sure this is the best place to be having this conversation? Your . . . companion . . . will be returning for you shortly.”
Right, the question of the day: Should I have a friendly chat with Muraki which will probably end in him kicking my ass, or should I have a friendly chat with a group of demon-worshippers, which will probably end up in me getting sacrificed. Decisions, decisions. The demon will eat me quickly, I suppose. But with Muraki there’s a greater chance that I’ll come out alive, because he’s very big on torture. Okay, so would I rather die or be tortured? This is getting too complicated, and I have a headache.
Muraki takes the decision away from me. How kind of him. He just takes hold of my arm and then there’s a swirl of white mist around us. Damn it, I knew that he could teleport, but I didn’t know he could teleport other people with him. I suppose I should have remembered that, since he transported Tsuzuki out of the Meifu that one time. This is not good. I don’t even know where we are, except that it’s dark.
“I’ve been meaning to have a little talk with you,” he says, still smiling that damned smile.
“I’m sure you have.” With Muraki, that’s synonymous to a lot of pain. This is not going to be pretty. Please, please, don’t let him have realized that I can’t heal. “So can we get it over with? It took me a week to get picked by those assholes, and now I’m going to have to go back to square one and start over.” That’s it, Hisoka. Go with that bravado. I’m sure it’ll help.
He moves a step closer. “You don’t seem afraid of me anymore.”
“I’m not.” Okay, so that’s a bald-faced lie. But it’s better than the truth, which is that I’m going to start hyperventilating in about thirty seconds. “After all, we already discussed the fact that you won’t kill me.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” he says. “But I’ll admit that I’m getting a little sick of you. Had you considered that I might have changed my mind?”
“It had occurred to me.” Keep my voice light, casual. I can talk my way out of this. Please, please, please let me talk my way out of this. Or at least talk my way alive until someone comes to rescue me. You’d think with the sheer panic I must be feeling, Tsuzuki would have come to rescue me by now.
Unless he’s mad at me.
Right. Must not have nervous breakdown in front of Muraki. That would be all types of bad.
“I must admit,” Muraki says, still advancing on me, “I’ve underestimated you. You’re more stubborn than I had expected, and I don’t know how to break you and Tsuzuki-san apart.” He pauses, as if to let that sink in. “There must be a way. I simply haven’t found it yet.”
I don’t say anything. I just back up, away from him, until I find myself with my back against the wall and no way to move.
“But with what’s been happening now . . .” He smiles. “This is perfect. I kill you, and Tsuzuki will blame himself for it. Because he wouldn’t tell you how to deal with this mysterious loss of power.”
“How the hell do you know that?” I burst out. This is ridiculous. The worst thing about it is that he’s right. He could kill me right now, and Tsuzuki will blame no one more than himself.
Muraki clears his throat. “You must have noticed that you’re losing your control over your empathy. I may not have much ability, but when someone is projecting that loudly . . .”
Damn damn damn. He’s got me trapped against the wall, and he’s still advancing. I don’t know how to fight him. I don’t know if there’s any way that I can.
“Of course, I half-expected that he would come to rescue you,” Muraki adds, and I try to avoid flinching and can’t. “But if he isn’t here now . . . I suppose he isn’t coming.” He still smiles. “He may hate me for it, but he’ll hate himself far more . . . and that makes it relatively easy for me, don’t you think?” He reaches up with one hand and caresses the side of my face. I can’t hold back the shudder.
Okay. Time to stop stalling and do something. Anything. There must be something I can do.
But I can never think while Muraki’s around. Especially not while he’s touching me, while that twistedness is seeping inside my skin. The first time I met him (as a Shinigami, I mean), I couldn’t understand him. He was so twisted, but I couldn’t figure out why. I still can’t. The darkness inside him must have a cause, but I doubt I’ll ever know what it is.
My body seems to have frozen with shock. Even with my magic, there’s no way I can fight Muraki. Without it? It doesn’t even seem to matter.
Close my eyes as his lips touch mine and try to struggle, try desperately, trying to free myself from his grasp. He’s too strong. And I’m too small. I always will be. Unless, of course, I die now, in which case I’ll just be nothing. What happens when a Shinigami dies? Do they go on to whatever destination they would have originally been sent to? Do their years as a Shinigami have some effect? Or do they just dissolve into nothingness?
I suppose I’ll find out in a few minutes.
“Let him go.”
Relief washes over me, stronger than almost any other emotion I’ve ever felt. But Muraki doesn’t let me go. He’s holding me suspended over the ground, my feet dangling slightly. His hand around my throat. Muraki turns slightly, towards Tsuzuki’s voice. “We were beginning to think you weren’t coming, Tsuzuki-san.”
Tsuzuki’s face is blank and his voice calm, but there’s panic in his mind. “You obviously don’t know me very well, in that case.”
Muraki smiles at him. “He thought you weren’t coming either.”
Tsuzuki’s eyes flick to me, and there’s pain hidden in them. Hidden very well, but still there. “I’m sure he had his reasons.”
My breath is still coming in sharp, short gasps, but I’m starting to calm slightly. Really wishing right about now that Muraki would put me down. Yeah, that’d be nice.
“Let him go,” Tsuzuki repeats, his voice cold.
Muraki slowly lowers me to the ground. I have to brace myself against the wall to keep from falling. I’m shaking all over. “Whatever you wish, Tsuzuki-san.”
And with that, he’s gone. And so are we. We’re standing back on the street corner where I started. Akimiya, looking panicky, nearly falls over. “What the hell was that all about?”
“Muraki tried to kill me.” It’s a fight to keep my voice steady, but in the end, it sounds like I’m discussing something totally normal. Which I suppose it is. I mean, Muraki does try to kill me on a pretty regular basis. “But Tsuzuki came and rescued me.”
We both look at Tsuzuki. For some reason, he doesn’t look pleased at what happened. In fact, his eyes are wide and shocked in his face, which is so pale it’s nearly dead white. “What’s wrong?” I ask him, alarmed.
He shakes his head slightly. “. . . have to go back,” is about all he can manage.
“To the Meifu?” I ask. At his nod, I glance at Akimiya.
He shrugs wearily. “The man you were with came and went. But at least we know their hideout now. We can come back later.”
I nod, and as one, we all transport back. It snaps into place as soon as we get there. My empathy smooths out and the pain in my knuckles vanishes. The fog that’s been hanging over the world evaporates. I know without trying that my ‘jitsu has come back too. Well, well, just another mystery.
Tatsumi is waiting for us when we enter the office. Much to my surprise, Tsuzuki goes even paler and practically falls to pieces. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, looking anywhere but at me or Tatsumi. “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but Muraki . . . Muraki was . . . going to . . .”
Tatsumi puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes his head slightly. Tsuzuki falls silent.
“What the hell is going on?” That’s it, I’m officially sick of being out of the loop.
“Follow me,” Tatsumi says, and beckons me and Tsuzuki. Akimiya starts to follow, and Tatsumi glances at him. And then says the one thing guaranteed to get rid of him without question. “Ah, Sakamoto-san, Nanami-san was looking for you. She said to go talk to her once you got back.”
“She was?” Akimiya looks slightly surprised, then nods. “All right.” He puts his hand briefly on my shoulder, then hurries off. Sometimes I forget how devious Tatsumi can be.
We follow him to his office, where he gestures for us both to sit down. “I have to go see about something,” he says. “Tsuzuki-san, why don’t you explain things to him?”
Tsuzuki gives him a startled look. “I can?”
Tatsumi looks a bit pained. “It’s a little late for prevarication now, and I don’t think he’s going to take no for an answer anymore.”
“Oh.” Tsuzuki looks at his hands as Tatsumi leaves the room.
I just look at him.
Tsuzuki takes a deep breath. “Before you ask, Tatsumi wasn’t really lying about it being a virus. This is something that happens to every Shinigami after they’ve been one for three years. It’s like . . . like a test. To see if they can complete a mission without all the gifts they’ve been given, to see if they’re really capable of the job.”
I nod slightly. I was starting to figure that out.
“The tests aren’t hard. At least, they’re not supposed to be. I mean, Muraki wasn’t supposed to show up.” He laughs slightly. “That . . . that wasn’t in the plan.”
I nod again. I can tell how frightened he was when that happened. So why did it take him so long to come help me?
“Other Shinigami are . . . are forbidden to tell the person being tested what’s happening to them,” he says softly. “And they’re also forbidden to help them through the test.”
Oh.
Tsuzuki rubs his hands across his face. “I . . . I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I shouldn’t have gone to help you, but . . .”
“But you said Muraki wasn’t part of the test,” I remind him. “So theoretically, it shouldn’t matter that you came to help me.”
“I guess.” He looks away.
“Why do I have my powers back?” I ask quietly.
He blinks at me, then looks stricken. He has to swallow hard before he can answer. “Because the test has been completed.”
I stare at him. “But I didn’t finish the case.”
“I know.” He presses both his hands against his face.
“I would have finished!” My voice is rising with panic. “I would have if Muraki hadn’t showed up!”
“I know!” he repeats. He sounds like he’s about to cry.
“It wasn’t my fault,” I whisper.
The door opens again and Tatsumi walks in. He doesn’t look very pleased with the situation. Tsuzuki and I just stare at him. “Well?” Tsuzuki finally asks.
Tatsumi clears his throat. “The decision,” he says, his voice completely calm, “has been left to EnmaDaiOh.”
Tsuzuki goes even paler, which I wouldn’t have thought possible. “Tatsumi,” he says weakly, “you know what he’ll say.”
I don’t. But at this point I’m beginning to think that’s a good thing.
“He’ll have his decision within the hour,” Tatsumi said. His voice isn’t quite as calm now. “Tsuzuki-san . . .” He walks over so they’re eye to eye. “Tsuzuki-san . . . I . . .”
Oh God. He’s going to tell him that he loves him. That means that whatever’s happening, it’s very, very bad.
“Shh,” Tsuzuki says, and folds him into a hug. “I know. I know.”
Which is pretty surprising, because Tatsumi and I were both of the opinion that Tsuzuki didn’t know. But I suppose now is not the time to be questioning these things. I want to know what the hell is going on.
Tsuzuki lets him go. “An hour?” he asks softly.
Tatsumi nods, and then leans forward to kiss Tsuzuki’s forehead. Without another word, he turns and walks out of the room.
“What -- ” I begin.
Tsuzuki turns to me. “We have to go.”
“Go? Where? Why?” I’m floundering here, I know I am.
“EnmaDaiOh is going to judge that you failed the test,” Tsuzuki says, his voice tense. “And he’s going to be annoyed that I broke the rules and helped you, but he’s not going to punish me much. But he’ll send you on.”
“What? He can’t!”
“Yes, he can, and he will,” Tsuzuki snaps. I don’t blame him for snapping. “EnmaDaiOh believes that being a Shinigami is penance for me. Penance for . . . for something that I did when I was alive.” He swallows hard. “I doubt he’s pleased to see me settling down and finally being happy with myself, so he’s going to send you where we can’t be together anymore. This was just his excuse, and I walked right into it without realizing.”
“But . . .”
“Hisoka,” Tsuzuki says, his voice gentle, “we have to go.”
“Go where?” I whisper.
“I don’t know,” he says. “We’ll have to figure it out on the way. We have a little time to stop by home and grab a few things, but that’s going to be it.”
“But . . . but Akimiya and Tatsumi and everyone . . .”
“Will have to do without us,” he says firmly, and takes me hand. He doesn’t allow me any breath to protest as he pulls me along firmly, right out of the building and down the street. We’re back at the house in record time.
He grabs a suitcase and hands it to me. “Pack,” he says firmly.
“This is all my fault,” I whisper.
He stops dead. “What?”
“We . . . we have to leave everything . . . because I couldn’t fight Muraki.” I think I’m going into shock. I can’t move. I can’t think.
“We don’t have time for this, Hisoka!” Tsuzuki’s voice is frustrated, and close to tears.
“But it isn’t fair!” I protest.
“Of course it isn’t fair!” He just stands there and we stare at each other. “None of this is fair! It shouldn’t be judged that you failed because Muraki wasn’t part of the test and you never got a chance to prove yourself, and if you’re going to be sent on for that, I should be sent on for breaking the rules and helping you. But EnmaDaiOh doesn’t care about being fair.”
“He just cares about you being miserable.”
“As far as I can tell.”
“Tsuzuki . . .” I slump down onto the bed. “We don’t have any money. We don’t have any way of making money.” I manage a wan smile. “Are you prepared to go the rest of eternity without any dessert?”
He starts to pick up clothes and shove them into a suitcase. He doesn’t answer.
“And . . . and we’ll have to give up everything. Tatsumi and Akimiya and Rika and Watari . . . I know that . . . that I’m screwed either way, but don’t do this to yourself. If you run away, it’ll only make things worse. Let’s . . . let’s just . . .”
“No!” His voice is fierce. He takes my chin in his hand and makes me look at him. “No,” he repeats, softer this time. “I would give up everything in order to stay with you, Hisoka. And if that’s what it takes, that’s what I’ll do.”
I just stare at him. “Why?”
“Because I love you, you idiot,” he snaps, and goes back to packing.
I automatically go to help, running on autopilot, snatching up the most important things -- the framed picture of Akimiya and Rika at their wedding, the little crystal vase Tatsumi gave us as a wedding present. Things to help us remember. Anything to help us remember.
It takes us fifteen minutes to cram our most important belongings into a suitcase. “Now what?” I ask weakly. “We can go to Chijou, but they’ll look for us. Tatsumi told me once that if a Shinigami refutes his position, they’re hunted down and killed.”
“I won’t let them hurt you,” Tsuzuki says, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. The world blurs around us and deposits us on a street corner in Tokyo. It’s started to rain, and the water trickles down my shirt collar. I shiver involuntarily.
“Will I be able to keep my powers?” I ask, as we walk along through the rain.
He nods slightly. “It works on a timer, really. A Shinigami’s powers can’t just be taken away by someone else. It happens automatically. So now that the test is over, they can’t be taken away again.” He reaches out and clasps my hand as we walk along. “I’ve got a little pocket money. You?”
I shake my head. “You know me. I never spend it.”
He wilts. “I thought maybe, since you were on a mission . . .”
“I wasn’t thinking of stuff like that, really,” I admit. We walk in silence for a few minutes before I can get up the courage to ask. “Are you mad at me?”
He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Why would I be mad at you?”
“Because . . . because I got so angry with you, for something that wasn’t your fault,” I manage. “That wasn’t fair of me.”
He shrugs. “I would’ve been just as angry. In fact, as far as I can recall, I was just as angry, when it happened to me. We all are.” He pauses, then adds, “I don’t know what’s going to happen to Akimiya. I mean, when it starts to happen to him in a couple years, he’s already going to know something suspicious is going on.”
“Hasn’t that happened before?” Keep the conversation on unimportant topics, and maybe I won’t panic. Yeah, right.
“Not that I know of,” Tsuzuki replies. “Because usually whoever it’s happening to is the youngest Shinigami in the department. We rarely get two new Shinigami in as close a time as you and Akimiya.” He blinks at the ground. I know he’s thinking that Akimiya is his fault, because we wouldn’t have needed another if he’d been able to take field duty. Then again, Akimiya’s made a pretty good Shinigami, so I don’t know what he’s so depressed about.
“So usually, everyone knows what’s happening except the person being tested.” I suppose that makes sense. I still think it’s unfair, though. I mean, what kind of a test is that? They give us the powers so we’ll be able to do our job. How are we expected to do our job without them? But if so many people have passed, I guess I just must be defective or something.
“Hey,” Tsuzuki says softly, and comes to a halt, turning to face me. “Stop that.” He reaches out and brushes my wet hair out of my face.
You know, usually I’m grateful for the bond between us, but right now when I’m trying to agonize in peace, it’s a real pain in the ass. “Why?” I ask, and keep walking. “I got us both into this.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” he says, sounding much more patient than I think I would sound, if our positions were reversed.
“Why not?” I ask irritably. “I could have just kneed Muraki in the balls. But no, I had to freeze up and you had to come rescue me and now we’re both screwed.”
“Hisoka,” Tsuzuki says, “you had every reason to freeze up around Muraki.”
“Why, because I always do?” I kick angrily at a puddle. Tsuzuki, even with his longer legs, is having a hard time keeping up with me. “Yeah, right. One would think I would’ve had the sense to work on that by now.”
“You didn’t last time,” he reminds me.
“Right. So why did I this time?”
He grabs me by the shoulders and makes me stop, giving an exasperated sigh. “Hisoka, you’re contradicting yourself. First you always freeze up and that makes it worse, now you didn’t freeze up last time and that makes it worse. Will you make up your mind?”
I glare at him angrily. “I shouldn’t be afraid of Muraki anymore.”
“Oh, sure,” Tsuzuki retorts. “After all, he was only going to torture and kill you. Nothing to be afraid of there.”
I look away. There’s not much I can say to that, so I change the subject. “He just doesn’t get it,” I mumble, annoyed. “He keeps thinking there’s some way that he’ll convince you to be his. I wish I could just beat his stupid head into a wall until he understood.”
Tsuzuki’s lips twitch. I think he’s about to start laughing. “Come on, let’s go,” he says, and puts his arm around my shoulder. The rain has grown harder. The streets are nearly deserted now, even though it’s midday.
“We still don’t have a place to go,” I point out.
“We’ll think of something.”
We walk in silence, through the pouring rain.
“Look at it this way,” Tsuzuki says, and I can’t help but roll my eyes, “at least we don’t have to do EnmaCho’s dirty work anymore.”
I sigh. “You can look at it as freedom if you want, Tsuzuki.” If that will help, go right ahead. But I can’t. And I can’t stop blaming myself for it, either.
He gives me a pointed look. “Better than how you’re thinking about it.”
“What, the truth?” I snap. “That we’re stranded here with no way to survive, and eventually we’ll be hunted down and killed?”
He sighs. “Come on.”
I continue to walk beside him. “We need someone to stay with for a few days, until we come up with a plan,” I say. “Someone that people outside our department won’t think of. I mean, no one there will betray us. Don’t we have any friends here, damn it?”
He brightens slightly. “I know just the place,” he says, and begins to skip along, leaving me behind in the rain.
~~~~
Chapter Four
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