Excerpts from a Conversation
A side story to Reversal
Hm, how to explain *this*.... This is the original brainstorming/planning session that I had with Karasu while writing Reversal. It was originally four hours long, and got really messy once the characters decided they wanted to have their say and started butting in. This conversation led to the infamous (or do I flatter myself?) strawberry scene, plus the shower scene, and, well, pretty much any scene where Subaru was attempting to do any seducing.
I've been *told* that this conversation is very funny.
For reasons of length, I cut it down. A lot. It's divded up into several little sections, each with its own title. Karasu was representing Johnny, I was representing Subaru and Seishirou. Later our friend Kimura joined in the fun. To make it easier to read, we each had our own font color. I left it in because there were a few jokes that depended on it. I was grey, Karasu was black, Kimura navy blue, Subaru green, Seishirou red, and Johnny purple. (Johnny wanted to be grey and got mad that I had already taken it.)
This took me a *long* time to cut down and HTML. If you like it, please let me know that my efforts weren't in vain.
Thank you and enjoy the show.
Seishirou's New Job
Kouri: Kimura gave me tips on how Subaru's going to make Seishirou fall in love with him.
Karasu: And what is he going to do?
Kouri: Think stuffed animals.
Karasu: Oh. Cute.
Kouri: Extremely. Plus some other stuff, but that was my favorite.
Karasu: Try endearing cards. Coming by mail.
Kouri: Along with the ones in his lunch? ::raises an eyebrow::
Karasu: It's different if they are bought and signed and sent through the mail. No return address and anonymous of course.
Kouri: I know, just seems a little redundant. I can't figure out exactly what Seishirou does. Is he still a vet, do you think?
Karasu: That’s horrible. He was killing the animals.
Kouri: I know.... but what would he do instead?
Karasu: Something corporate. He'd be a good corporate bastard.
***
The Apology This one just strikes me as amusing because, after all that, Subaru *did* apologize.
Karasu: I think Subaru might have to sort of apologize. Not actually be sorry but nice gifts or something.
Kouri: He won't apologize. Nice gifts, maybe, but there will be no apologies.
Karasu: I know. He isn't sorry. But you do see what I mean, right?
Kouri: Yes.... but Subaru is quite *vehemently* saying there will be no apologies whatsoever. And he's the one in charge.
Karasu: I never said he should be sorry. Tell him to get a hold of himself or he can talk to Johnny.
Kouri: No, you don't understand. He's not refusing to be sorry. He's refusing to even *pretend* to be sorry. He said he'd *love* to talk to Johnny.
****
Shock Value At this point in the conversation, we were trying to figure out how Subaru was going to worm his way into Seishirou-san's good graces after... well.... being an asshole to him and running off. In the end he did it by starving himself -.-;;;;
Johnny: Get over yourself and buy the man some flowers. Lots of them. Red roses. You've made you point, now get over yourself. And when I say a lot, I mean *a lot.*
Subaru: Why would I buy him flowers, so he can grind half in the disposal and throw the other half at my head?
Johnny: Shock value. I don't think he would ruin them.
Subaru: *I* think he would ruin them.
Johnny: Look at it this way. If you were disagreeing with him, don't give me that look, and came home to a dark room, flipped on the light and found every thing carpeted and candles and roses, what would you do?
Subaru: ::blinks....blinks...:: Suspect he was up to something?
Johnny: Why am I giving love advice? I'm a hooker.
Kouri: ::laughs::
Johnny: That’s way too much money to be spending on subterfuge. A dozen roses he would be up to something.
Subaru: Hm, there you may have a point.
****
When Did We Lose Control....?
Subaru: The point is that I want *him* to apologize to *me*.
Kouri: He looks very convinced of this, Johnny. Good luck.
Johnny: Now you might have a problem. I think one of you is going to have to swallow your pride. And you have already proven Seishirou is too stubborn to be smart.
Kouri: Subaru is pouting. And refusing.
Karasu: ::rolls eyes::
Kouri: Yeah, well, this isn't *my* fault.
Johnny: Really. And what do you plan to accomplish by pouting? ::Stands, arms crossed::
Subaru: I'm going to wait for him to break down and apologize to me. I might send him flowers in the meantime, but there will be no apologies.
Johnny: I never said you should apologize. Jesus. Give me some credit here.
Subaru:......so wait, why are we arguing?
Johnny: I have no idea. You started it, my friend. Truce?
Subaru: Truce. I'll send him lilies every day until he breaks down and apologizes.
Karasu: Hey, Kouri?
Kouri: Hai?
Karasu: When did we lose control of the situation here?
Kouri: I have no idea. When we lost our minds, probably. Johnny and Subaru are too damned stubborn to be dealt with.
Karasu: Oh yes. I'd hate to call them muses. More like little pricks we should keep gagged.
Kouri: Noooo kidding.
****
The Innocent Act
Kouri: So Subaru's first act of "seduction" (::falls over laughing::) is to fall asleep in Seishirou's lap.
Karasu: Cute.
Johnny: Ah, the innocent act. Always a good choice.
Kouri: No, he really falls asleep. He didn't actually mean to. It is very cute.
Karasu: Very.
****
Blushing
Johnny: Get over the blushing thing. It gives too much away.
Karasu: I like it.
Subaru: Johnny, go stick your head in a lake. I'll have you know that Seishirou thinks that I'm cute when I blush, so it furthers my purpose.
Kouri: Thank you.
Johnny: ::grins:: I used to be as cute as you once. Innocent, too. It's nice to see someone still like that.
Subaru: ::rolls his eyes:: I'm not *that* innocent. Who said I'm not controlling when I do and do not blush?
Kouri: You *are*?!
Subaru: Of course I am.
Kouri: Why don't my characters tell me these things?!?!?
Johnny: ::grins more:: You, Subaru, are an evil little bastard. I like you.
Karasu: They hate us.
****
The Closet The closet got used a lot during this conversation.
Karasu: ::tries to cram Johnny in a closet::
Kouri: ::shoves Subaru in with him:: They ought to have fun....
Karasu: ::locks the door::
Kouri: Wait... I'm trying to write. I need Subaru back. Well, not for a while. Seishirou is torturing himself currently,
Karasu: Um. . . what are the odds that they will plot against us? ::looks nervous::
Kouri: Oh dear Lord. Let them out, quick.
Karasu: ::runs for the door::
Subaru: ::looks innocent:: of course we wouldn't plot against you.
Kouri: Oh dear.
Johnny: Why would we do that?
Subaru: Johnny, were you going to help me come up with more ways to torture my Seishirou-san?
Karasu: ::looks worried::
Kouri: Why are you looking worried?
Karasu: Cause Johnny is the spawn of Satan.
****
Twisted Courtship
Kouri: It's okay. He was just begging.
Johnny: I'm trying to think.. I usually play seduction games, not twisted courtship.
Kouri: ::sighs:: Twisted is right.
****
Erk?
Johnny: I'm having trouble with this romance thing.
Karasu: Erk?
Kouri: ::Gasps:: Johnny, you're having trouble with something??
Johnny: I never claimed to be perfect. Just more of a bastard than everyone else.
****
Toy Stores
Johnny: You like toy stores, Subaru?
Subaru: Yes....
Johnny: Karasu’s boyfriend says she's adorable in toys stores.
Karasu: ::glares at Johnny and her boyfriend::
Johnny: Have him go out shopping with you. End up in a toy store and play with stuff. You'll be cute. He'll love it. If you are feeling mean, have him buy you something expensive.
Kouri: Ooooh! Great idea! And Karasu, you are adorable in toy stores.
Karasu: AM NOT!!!!
Kouri: Are so.
Johnny: She's hiding now.
Kouri: She's a wuss.
Johnny: She says you're a meanie head and a puckmucker.
Kouri: Of course I am.
****
Hysterical Laughter, Part One
Subaru: ....I've never kissed anyone before.......ever....
Johnny: Practice first. It's not that hard.
Subaru: PRACTICE?!?!?! Practice where? How?
Kouri: ::Rolls around on the floor laughing hysterically::
****
Hysterical Laughter, Part Two
Subaru: What do you think Seishirou-san would do if I kissed him in public?
Johnny: Odds are, be a bit stunned and then kiss back. I've been reading the story. He wants you.
Subaru: ::dies:: H-H-He what?!?!
Kouri: ::rolls around on the floor in hysterical laughter::
Karasu: ::Follows suit::
Johnny: ::laughs so hard is gasping for air::
Kouri: ::tries to regain composure:: Uh oh, Su-chan's mad at us....
Karasu: Eeep.
Subaru: It's not funny! ::pouts::
Johnny: ::ponders giving Subaru a hug. Is shocked at himself::
Kouri: ::dies laughing:: Johnny, I didn't know you had it in you.
Johnny: Shut up woman.
****
Christmas
Kouri: Oh, *wonderful.* Now I have Seishirou insisting on having his say. Seishirou is red, Subaru is green, I’m still grey.
Seishirou: It's not the more he shows he cares for me. I know he cares for me. He has to convince me that I care for him.
Johnny: And who said you could but into the conversation?
Seishirou: ::raises an eyebrow:: Kouri.
Kouri: ::hides:: I didn't see you *asking*, Sei-*chan*
Johnny: ::glares at Kouri.::
Kouri: This is too complicated. I'm leaving..... ::runs away::
Seishirou: Ahem. Anyway.
Subaru: Hey, Seishirou-san, you and I make Christmas colors.
Seishirou: ::facefaults::
****
Young Love
Johnny: Well fine. What would you think if Subaru kissed you?
Seishirou: ::blinks.... blinks...::
Subaru: Seishirou-san, you're blushing!!
Seishirou: I am not.
Johnny: Young love. So cute.
Seishirou: I would think it was very odd if Subaru kissed me.
Johnny: That’s it?
Seishirou: He's not a physically affectionate type of person.
Johnny: How would you feel?
Seishirou: I do not feel.
Subaru: He is so full of shit.
Karasu: He's so full of it his eyes are brown.
Johnny: ::nods in agreement::
Seishirou: My eyes are brown. Anyway, presuming that Subaru-kun is a decent kisser, of course it would be pleasurable. That doesn't mean I would "feel" anything.
Subaru: Seishirou-san, you're still full of it.
****
Semantics
Subaru: At least he admitted it would be "pleasurable."
Johnny: Well that’s something. He thinks you’re hot.
Subaru: ::falls over::
Seishirou: I'm not sure I'd choose "hot."
Johnny: Why not?
Seishirou: ::shrugs:: He's certainly beautiful, but... not hot.
Johnny: Fine. Semantics. Anyway. So there would be no emotion at all?
Kouri: None that you'll catch him admitting to.
Seishirou: ::glares at Kouri:: No emotion.
Kouri: Sure, Sei-chan.
Johnny: You are such a liar. A bad one at that.
Seishirou: I resent that. I've certainly lied well in the past.
Kouri: ::locks Seishirou in a closet::
****
Breathe, Subaru! This was after the lesson on 'the lingering touch'.
Kouri: Johnny, this is Kimura. Kimura, Johnny, the neurotic.
Johnny: ::bows::
Kimura: ::sweatdrops::
Kouri: Subaru will join us when he's done hyperventilating.
****
Resistance
Johnny: Hello, Kimura. ::sidles up to her:: What would you suggest we do?
Kimura: ::inches away from him:: I already gave my suggestions.
Kouri: And they were good suggestions!
Kimura: ::beams::
Kouri: But we've moved from cute, through romantic, to seduction. Which is more Johnny's alley. And Subaru is resisting a great deal. It's lots of fun.
****
The Many Uses for Your Tongue
Subaru: But.... *lick* his *ear*???
Kouri: ::falls over laughing:: He sounds like me!
Johnny: It's all tone and *how* you say it.
Subaru: No, you don't get this. *Fuuma* licks ears. I don't do things like that.
Kimura: Either that or the little hairs on the back of his neck. Guys like that.
Kouri: Why do I have to lick anything??
Kimura: Because it's sexy, Subaru-chan ^_~
Johnny: And you can pretend it was accidental, even if you both know it wasn't. Now you’re playing a game.
Subaru: ::hides::
Kouri: He's really not made for seduction....
Subaru: Okay... ::is blushing furiously:: then what?
Johnny: Fuuma licks necks and does it with no finesse whatsoever.
Subaru: So I have to lick him with finesse? ::raises an eyebrow::
Kouri: ::falls over laughing::
Johnny: Yes. It isn't that hard. Think cat, not dog, and you've got it covered.
****
Never Mind...
Seishirou: ::Breaks out of the closet:: Who's going to be licking *whose* ears?
Kouri: Oh God. Sei-chan escaped.
Kimura: Ack! ::hides::
Seishirou: If anyone should be doing the seducing here, it should be me.
Kouri: Sei-*chaaaaaan*!!!
Johnny: But you’re an ass.
Seishirou: Excuse me?
Karasu: ::Hides from the eventual blow up::
Seishirou: Why am I an ass?
Johnny: Do you really want me to list the reasons?
Seishirou: Yes.
Kouri: ::from under the desk:: I think all the actual people have taken shelter to let the characters battle it out.
Kimura: Yes.
Subaru: ::waits and laughs::
Johnny: Well for starters, you persist in the fricken idiocy of pretending that you don't love him ::points at Subaru::
Seishirou: I don't.
Kouri: Oh, sure. ::hides::
Seishirou: ::death glares at Kouri::
Johnny: You know the urge to punch you is growing stronger.
Kimura: ::sweatdrops more::
Karasu: ::Hides under desk::
Seishirou: I do *not* love him. I have no emotions.
Kouri: Y'know, he's actually not lying right now. At this point in the story he's only .... ok, never mind.
Kimura: ::crawls further under desk::
****
Ownership Part One
Seishirou: ::stubbornly:: I am *not* in love with Subaru.
Subaru: You aren't? ::big pleading eyes::
Johnny: And I'm not a two dollar hooker.
Seishirou: ::backs away from Subaru:: No. Of course not. Your profession isn't up for debate. I don't love Subaru.
Johnny: And what gives you the right to seduce him?
Seishirou: ::stops for a second:: He belongs to me.
Subaru: My ass.
****
Ownership Part Two
Seishirou: No. I don't think I own everything. I own Subaru.
Johnny: Heh. I think you relinquished the right.
Karasu: Kouri, when did this get so out of hand?
Kouri: I don't..... know. When Seishirou showed up, I think. Until then it was just a friendly discussion.
Seishirou: I most certainly did *not*. What makes you think I relinquished my right?
Johnny: Well, when you try to break something you own, you don't want it any more.
Seishirou: Yes, but... if it comes back for more, it's still rightfully mine.
Kimura: It is not. That's flawed logic.
Kouri: Wow, Seishirou-san, you're getting kind of flustered.
****
The First Kiss This part's my favorite ^_~
Johnny: And while I'm on the subject of who's in charge, are you afraid to be seduced? Afraid to *not* be in charge?
Seishirou: I am *not* afraid!!
Kouri: ::dies laughing:: Oh, you guys should've seen his face there.
Seishirou: ::glares at Kouri::
Johnny: ::saunters up and says softly:: You sure about that?
Kimura: Oh boy.
Seishirou: ::backs away:: Stay the hell away from me.
Kouri: ::dies laughing::
Karasu: ::Covers eyes::
Subaru: ::follows suit:: Johnny, don't take my Seishirou-san away from me...
Kimura: He's not, Subaru-chan. He's just freaking him out.
Johnny: ::follows Seishirou:: Why should I? Afraid? ::voice still low::
Seishirou: ::voice cold:: One. I am *not* afraid of you. Two: ::grins:: Go for it, if you want.
Subaru: Seishirou-saaaaan!!!!
Kouri: ::dies::
Karasu: ::in Subaru's ear:: I'm to tell you that Johnny doesn't want him.
Kimura: ::clamps Subaru's mouth shut:: I wanna see what happens!
Subaru: MMMMPHH!!!
Kimura: Shhh!
Subaru: ::falls silent with a strangled whimper::
Kimura: Johnny's trying to *help* you, silly.
Subaru: He's seducing my Seishirou-san!! And Seishirou-san's going along with it!!
Kouri: Johnny, what the hell are you doing?
Kimura: Do you really think they're going to get anywhere with 3 people looking on?
Kouri: I don't know, knowing Johnny....
Kimura: I was afraid you'd say that. >.<
Kouri: You'd have to pay him quite a bit, though.
Karasu: ::Whispers to Kouri:: Johnny says to make sure Subaru isn't looking.
Kouri: Oh. God. ::shoves Subaru into the closet:: Ok, it's safe.
Johnny: ::Kisses Seishirou and then backs away:: Now tell me that wouldn't have been better from Subaru? (::It was a good sound kiss too::)
Seishirou: Of course it would have been. Subaru is *far* more attractive than you.
Kouri: ::dies laughing::
Johnny: ::Grins:: So you don't find me attractive. That’s why you so hurriedly backed away earlier?
Kimura: *goes back under desk*
Seishirou: I backed away because I had no interest in doing anything in front of Subaru-kun.
Kouri: Oh, Sei-chan, you left yourself *wide* open.
Seishirou: ::pales::
Kouri: And *why* didn't you want Subaru to see you kissing another man?
Seishirou: Because it would distress him terribly.
Kouri: Hey, Johnny . . . why don't you take him apart.
****
Blood From a Stone
Johnny: So you were worried about upsetting Subaru?
Seishirou: ::backpedals:: Maybe. No.
Kouri: Uh huh.
Seishirou: *You* stay out of this.
Johnny: ::Grins evilly:: Wanna try it again then? ::approaches::
Seishirou: No. It was hardly a performance to bother repeating.
Johnny: Well, one can't expect blood from a stone. You aren't the greatest kisser.
Seishirou: Hey!! ::is truly offended::
Kouri: ::falls over laughing::
Karasu: Oh. Johnny.
****
The Second Kiss
Kimura: I'm a good kisser!
Kouri: Well, why don't you kiss Seishirou, then?
Kimura: uhh ... he might kill me?
Kouri: ::laughs:: I'd keep him in check.
Seishirou: No one else is kissing me tonight.
Subaru: Oh, really?
Johnny: ::grins::
Subaru: ::sidles close, trying to emulate Johnny:: Not even me?
Kouri: ::cackles::
Seishirou: ::turns the color of his font:: Uhm....
Johnny: ::backs away, letting Subaru have the moment::
Subaru: ::advances mercilessly until he's only inches away from Seishirou, then kisses him soundly on the lips:: Hm. You're right, Johnny, he's not that great a kisser.
Kouri: ::dies laughing:: I can't *believe* he did that!
Seishirou: ::sputters::
Johnny: Anyone can be taught though.
Seishirou: That's not fair, it's not like *you're* experienced.
Subaru: ::shrugs::
Johnny: It would help if he responded instead of expecting you to do all the work.
Subaru: Well. Yeah.
Seishirou: I've had it, I'm leaving. ::storms off in a huff::
****
Bananas?
Subaru: What's lesson two?
Johnny: Fruit.
Subaru: Fruit?
Kouri: Oh, I get it. ::hides::
Johnny: Fruit. Pick something sort of juicy. Strawberries are the best, but sections of oranges aren't bad.
Subaru: Okay. ::is bewildered::
Kouri: Gee, Johnny, I would think bananas would be best.
Johnny: Yeah right. Images of Lorena Bobbit come to mind. Strawberries. Bite part of it off sort of slowly, keep your lips wrapped tight around it.
Subaru: ::takes notes::
****
How to Get Rid of Seishirou
Kouri: When Seishirou breaks out of the closet and kills me, I'm blaming both of you.
Johnny: I’ll just kiss him again. That bugs him.
****
What? ::looks innocent::
Karasu: I think Johnny made a friend.. The world is ending.
Kouri: No kidding.
Johnny: ::Chooses to ignore Kouri and Karasu::
****
Hugs for Johnny
Karasu: Johnny's mad. (And even though he wont admit it, a little hurt.) He thought he was at least as cute as Subaru.
Kouri: Oh, Johnny, you *are* just as cute as Subaru. Seishirou's just a weenie. ::hugs Johnny and floofs his hair::
Johnny: ::allows it::
Kouri: WAI!!
****
How Not to Solve the Problem
Subaru: Johnny ::voice wheedling:: how do I get back into Seishirou-san's good graces once he's really mad at me?
Johnny: Um. . .. .
Kimura: Nearly get killed.
Subaru: 'Cause he's gonna be *really* mad at me.
Kouri: No, Kimura.... I'd like to avoid that. It's already happening once.
****
Whose Fault is This Anyway?
Johnny: Subaru, how do you get yourself into these messes?
Subaru: ::points at Kouri:: It's her fault!
Kouri: WHAT?!?!
****
Two Wrongs....
Johnny: I don't keep miracles in my back pocket.
Subaru: All Kouri will say is "Hell if I know." ::glares at Kouri::
Johnny: Ever thought of crying a lot?
Subaru: ::looks indignant:: I'm *not* going to cry in front of him. I mean, I don't blame him for being really mad. I was really mad when he did it to me. But how do I make him see that I didn't do it to hurt him per se, just to make him see how I felt?
Johnny: That’s sort of the same thing really.
Subaru: Eh?
Johnny: I see your reasoning , but it's sort of…. two wrongs don't make a right.
Subaru: Ok, I did mean to hurt him.
Kouri: He's gone into a funk. ::sighs:: *Now* the little prick goes and feels bad for what he's done. ::thuds head against wall::
****
Inexperienced
Kouri: Sei-chan wants a say. I'm letting him out of the closet, as this does involve him.
Seishirou: ::coughs and collects his dignity:: Thank you. First of all, I'm going want a full explanation. ::looks at Johnny pointedly:: That's reasonable, right?
Johnny: Eh. Why not.
Kouri: I think he would deserve an explanation too....
Seishirou: Then I would want proof that he wasn't lying again.
Kouri: ::head thuds against table:: Great.
Johnny: ::puts a hand between head and table:: And what would convince you?
Seishirou: ::shrugs::
Kouri: Oh, *that*'s useful, Sei-chan.
Johnny: You must have some idea?
Seishirou: ::loftily:: I'm inexperienced in matters of the heart.
Kouri: ::irritably:: You're a *jackass* is what you are.
****
OH GOOD!
Johnny: Would he come to you if you just gave him some time? And flowers, other things like that?
Subaru: Maybe. I don't know. The problem is, now I've realized that *I'm* going to want some proof, too. ::sweatdrops::
Kouri: ::Facefaults to the floor:: OH GOOD!!!
****
Johnny's Solution
Johnny: I'm just going to get the both of you *very* drunk and lock you in a room together.
****
Okay, so, for insanity, was it funny? ::grin:: It was fun *having* the conversation.... Anyway, the whole going-within thing was something I came up with later, and then Subaru decided to solve the second problem by refusing to eat or sleep. -.- But hey, it worked, so who cares?! Anyway, justify my pitiful little life by telling me if you liked this or not ^_~