Warnings: Uh, a teensy bit of angst and an unexpected pairing. XD
Part Eight
There are times when I’m reminded of exactly why I love Yuki so much, and this is one of them. He may just have come up with a way to get Yue to mope a little less. Not much, I’m sure, but every little bit counts with Yue. If we can get Eriol to get Akizuki to stop being so mean to him, then if we can get Eriol to actually be nice to him . . . this might work.
So we troop upstairs to talk to Eriol. He looks tired, but okay other than that. “Thanks for the sandwich,” he greets me with.
“I know a great way you can repay me,” I tell him.
A guarded look crosses Eriol’s face. “Uh oh.”
“It’s nothing hard,” Yuki says with an encouraging smile.
Eriol sighs. “That’s not reassuring. What is it?”
“We want you to talk to Akizuki, convince her you’re not abandoning her for Yue, and get her off his case.”
“You’re right,” Eriol says. “That’s not hard. That’s impossible.”
I glare at him. “You can at least talk to her.”
“It won’t help.”
“Why?” I challenge. “You’re not abandoning her for Yue, are you?”
There’s a pause that’s just a second too long before Eriol says “Of course not.” I think he’s blushing. Nah, must be the lighting. Eriol doesn’t blush.
“Then you can talk to her,” Yuki says, but he’s smiling this little smile which means that he’s thinking something quite amusing. “And then you can talk to Yue.”
“I’ve been talking to Yue all afternoon,” Eriol says.
“Well, you need to talk to him again, because he’s going to murder Akizuki, and we’re not going to stop him,” I tell him.
Eriol looks frustrated. “What happened now?”
“She dumped applesauce in his hair,” Yuki says.
Eriol gets a pained look on his face. “His one vanity. All right, I’ll talk to her. But I don’t really think I need to talk to him. If she starts behaving, there shouldn’t be a problem.”
“You’re treating Yue like a rational human being instead of a jealous winged guardian with an abandonment complex and more firepower than is good for him,” I say.
Eriol looks even more pained. “So basically, you want me to talk to them both, and convince both of them that I’m not abandoning one for the other.”
Yuki and I look at each other. “Yeah, that’s a good way to sum it up,” Yuki finally says.
“And how do you think I’m going to do that?” Eriol asks, quite calmly.
“Very carefully,” Yuki advises.
“I see,” Eriol says. “You hate me, don’t you.”
“No, we’re just sick of dealing with them taking their abandonment complexes out on each other,” I say. “This is your mess. Now fix it.”
We leave him with that thought.
****
Excellent. This is just wonderful. Somehow I’ve become personally responsible for convincing both Yue and Nakuru that I love them both dearly. Which is true. But difficult. Because as soon as I have one convinced, they’ll realize I’m - gasp - speaking to the other. And everything will go down the drain again.
There must be some way to convince them that I’m capable of caring for both of them equally.
And maybe pigs will fly.
I’ll tackle Nakuru first. She’ll be far easier to convince. Of course, she’ll immediately stop believing it once I manage to convince Yue. But I’ll deal with that when I get to it. Normally, Nakuru would know if I needed to talk to her, but in my weakened state (I feel pathetic), I can’t really manage to send a thought message.
“Spinel?” I call to empty air. He floats in a second later. “Could you get Nakuru for me? I need to have a little talk with her.”
Spinel gives me a suspicious look, then leaves the room. He returns a minute later. “She won’t come inside.”
I feel a migraine coming on. I think it’s the same one from earlier, revisited. “Why not?”
“Because she put applesauce in Yue’s hair and now he’s threatening to kill her if she steps foot inside the house.”
“Fine. Tell her that if she doesn’t come inside, I’ll come out there to her.”
Spinel floats out of the room without a word. He comes back up a minute later and says peevishly, “She says, I quote, ‘you’re not supposed to be out of bed and you can’t possibly need to talk to me that badly.’ Then she flounced away, and I refuse to play Western Union any longer.”
I sigh and get out of bed.
“You really want to talk to her, don’t you,” Spinel says.
“I’m supposed to convince her that I’m not abandoning her.”
Spinel gives me a skeptical look. “Good luck.”
“Don’t you start.” I’m still in my pajamas. So I fish out my bathrobe and slippers and go downstairs.
Nakuru is pouting in the garden. She gives me a look. “You aren’t supposed to be out of bed!” she protests.
“You wouldn’t come up and talk to me. Thus, I am out of bed.”
“You’re not even wearing a coat!” she shrieks.
“It’s not that cold.”
“But you’re sick!”
“Nakuru, I’m fine,” I say. Try to sound patient. “I’m not sick. Just tired. I can handle ten minutes outside and I need some fresh air anyway.”
She’s still pouting. “Well, what did you need?”
“I need you to come inside,” I say, “and apologize to Yue for dropping applesauce in his hair.”
She folds her arms over her chest and glares at me. “He deserved it.”
“What did he do?”
“He was all smug and snide!”
“He’s snide to everyone, Nakuru.”
“And he was making fun of me because I kept bringing you food! He said you didn’t like it!” She’s giving me this wounded look. This is bad. “I was just trying to be nice!”
Pretty soon I’m going to be the one hiding out here. “It was very nice of you, Nakuru.”
She sniffles. “You didn’t like it.”
Please don’t start crying. Oh God. My life is hell. “Of course I liked it. I just needed something . . . different. After four days of oatmeal.”
“You didn’t like it!”
She’s going to cry. I can see it. I have to remember that she’s not technically a girl. Girls crying is always worse. Genderless. Must remember that she’s genderless. Oh my God, she’s going to cry. “Nakuru - ”
“And you like Yue better than me!”
“That is completely untrue,” I say firmly, hoping to stave off the hysterics. “I love you both.”
“Then you think he’s cuter.”
Okay, there she’s just right. What do I say to that? Oh, wait! “Clow created Yue to be physically appealing to him. I created you to be physically appealing to me. Therefore, you are both physically appealing to me.” That was pretty much the truth, but still avoiding the fact that Yue is prettier.
“You think I’m better-looking?” she says. At least she’s stopped sniffling.
“Nakuru, we’re talking about apples and oranges here.”
“Then you like him better.” She folds her arms over her chest and glares at me.
“No! I don’t like him better. I don’t like you better either! I like you both in two entirely different ways!”
She gives me a funny look. “How do you like Yue?”
Oh dear. How do I like Yue? Oh dear. “Nakuru, why does it matter?”
“Because it does!”
She might not be a girl, but she still definitely acts like it. That is woman’s logic. Plain and simple. Let’s see if I can get myself out of this. How did I get myself into this? That’s right, it’s all Touya-san’s fault. I’ll get him back for this later. Penguins in his shoes or something. “Nakuru, I created you. I’ve known you for a very long time and I love you very much.” Let’s hope that settles it.
“But what about Yue?”
Of course that wouldn’t settle it.
“Because,” Nakuru continues, giving me a careful look, “if you didn’t feel something special about him, you would’ve just said you love me more and avoided the entire argument.”
I shouldn’t have created her to be so perceptive. And how do I feel about Yue, anyway? “Look what happened to Yue,” I say. “Clow died and Yue was all on his own for centuries, then hid behind a false face, fell in love with someone that could never be his because he loved his false form, and then got shoved into a separate body. After finding out that his reincarnated previous master, who he loved just as much as you love me, hadn’t come back for him. He feels replaced. I need to show him some special attention so he feels better. What if that had been you?”
“I’m not questioning his motives,” Nakuru says. “I’m questioning yours.”
She’s really got me stumped. I just don’t know. I’ve been paying special attention to Yue because he needs it. Not for any other reason than that, really. “Nakuru, my motives are not yours to question.”
“Sure, pull the whole master thing on me.” She gets a mysterious grin. “Well, okay then!”
And she bounces off.
Somehow, I think I just made things worse.
****
I look up as Akizuki bounds into the house. Finally, my chance for vengeance. Much to my surprise, she bounces right over to me and sing-songs, “I know something you don’t know.”
I blink at her. “What?”
“Can’t tell you! It’s a secret!”
“Akizuki, you have three seconds to get out of my face before I’m forced to do something drastic.”
“You want a hint?”
“Oh, sure.”
She leans really close and whispers in my ear, “It’s about Eriol.”
“What about Eriol?” Of all the things I am known for, patience is not one of them.
“I told you! It’s a secret!”
A few minutes later, Yukito wanders in. “Did I hear Akizuki-san yelling that you can’t strangle her with her own hair?” he asks.
“Yes.”
Yukito blinks, apparently thinking this over. “Did you?”
“I tried. Unfortunately, she was correct and it didn’t work.”
“So where is Akizuki now?” he asks, sounding nervous.
“I think she’s out in the garden again.” I allow myself a small grin. “Hiding. Again.”
Yukito rolls his eyes and wanders off.
Eriol comes in just as he leaves and pours himself a mug of tea. I give him a funny look. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“Yes,” he says. “But I’m sick of bed. What on earth did you do to Nakuru?”
“Nothing she didn’t deserve.”
“Yes, you’re probably right. Did you strangle her?”
“Tried. Failed.” I can’t help but wonder what secret Akizuki was referring to. Eriol is, by nature, a secretive person. “She said she knew something about you but it was a secret. What does she know?”
Eriol looks at me. “You’re right. Let’s leave her outside.”
As if that’s going to deter me. “What does she know?”
“My favorite ice cream flavor. I’m going back to bed.”
“Touya said you wanted to talk to me.”
Eriol winces. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“I want to know what you wanted to talk to me about now.”
“Patience is a virtue.”
“So is honesty.”
Eriol winces. Again. “All right, you win. I wanted to try to convince you that just because I have Nakuru, doesn’t mean you’ve been replaced.”
“But I have.” I stare blankly at him. “I should be your guardian. But she is instead.”
He looks frustrated. “That doesn’t mean I don’t care for you.”
“Do you?” I ask flatly.
“Of course I do.” He shifts uncomfortably.
“Oh, and whatever happened to ‘I’m not Clow’?”
“I’m not. That doesn’t mean I can’t care for you as myself.”
“You’re reaching.”
He gives me an annoyed look. “I’d think that I would know if I cared for you, thank you very much.”
“You’ve never said anything before.”
Eriol looks pensive for a minute. “I’d never really thought about it before.”
“That’s completely untrue. We’ve had numerous conversations about Clow and myself, and how you figure in has come up more than once. If you really cared about me, you would have told me.” I stand up. “Stop trying to make yourself feel better by saying things you don’t mean. And get back in bed before you collapse.”
And I walk away and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Good riddance anyway.
****
I knock on Eriol-kun’s door, holding a mug of tea in my hands. He hasn’t had anything since dinner, and that was only a sandwich. I would be hungry if that were me. Of course, I’m always hungry. But less so, lately.
“I don’t want any oatmeal, applesauce, soup, sandwiches, or attention,” Eriol-kun calls.
Hm. That’s heartening. I open the door and go in. “You didn’t say tea.”
Eriol-kun throws a shoe at me, which I dodge easily. I’ve never seen him this flustered. Flustered and Eriol-kun are two words that generally don’t have anything to do with each other. “Put it on the table and go away,” he says.
I put it on the table and sit down. “I take it that it didn’t go well with Akizuki-san and Yue?”
“This is attention. I don’t want attention.”
“Yes, but with Akizuki-san dancing around the house in glee and Yue having stalked off somewhere to be miserable, I’d kind of appreciate to know how long To-ya and I should barricade ourselves in our room.”
“Eternity. And barricade my door before you go.”
“So what happened?”
“Nakuru asked a lot of questions about how I feel about Yue that I couldn’t answer, then Yue refused to believe me when I said I cared about him.”
“Oh,” I say, and ponder this for a minute.
“So maybe you’ll understand why I don’t really feel like company right now.”
“Perfectly,” I say. “So how do you feel about Yue?” I’m not sure why this had never occurred to me before. I always just assumed Eriol-kun had his own life and his own concerns. However, despite his adamant protest that he and Clow are two different people, I refuse to believe that Clow’s emotions and memories have no effect on him at all. I think, perhaps, Eriol-kun was using the ‘I’m not Clow’ excuse to avoid feeling anything for Yue.
“Leave me alone,” Eriol-kun replies, and rolls over so his face is in his pillow.
He’s definitely sulking.
“Eriol-kun, you can talk to me,” I say. “I won’t tell Yue, I won’t gloat that I know your secret, I won’t tell you that you’re wrong, and I won’t get hurt by it.”
“Just because I can doesn’t mean I want to.”
“It might do you some good to talk about it instead of sulking about it on your own,” I point out.
He sits up and glares at me. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t made me go talk to them.”
I raise an eyebrow. “It also wouldn’t have happened if you had kept a rein on Akizuki-san so she hadn’t tried to wipe Yue and I out of existence.”
Eriol-kun looks vaguely uncomfortable. “She didn’t really mean it like that,” he says. “It wasn’t malicious, just . . .”
“Greedy. That’s not much better, Eriol-kun.”
He shrugs.
“Eriol-kun, I think you sort of owe Yue an explanation,” I say, well aware that I’m about to get banished from the room. “You’ve been telling him all along that you’re not Clow, and you don’t care for him, and now suddenly you’re saying you so.”
“Clow loved him like a son,” Eriol-kun says sharply, then looks rather startled with himself. “Oh - uhm - ” He sputters for a minute, then manages, “Get out of my room! And make everyone leave me alone!”
I back out of the room quickly. I’m not about to say anything after that rather surprising statement. At least, not to Eriol-kun. I think I’ll go hunt down To-ya.
****
We came home from sight-seeing to find that we had missed a most interesting evening at home. Akizuki-san is dancing around the house, crowing that she knows a secret. Yue has removed himself to some far corner of the house, where he is apparently sulking. Hiiragizawa-kun has retreated to his own room, where he is apparently sulking. He’s apparently a world-class sulker, according to Yukito-san, who is in the kitchen, conferring with Touya-san.
I overheard part of their conversation, you see, while going in for some tea for Sakura-chan. That’s how I know what’s going on. I think I should explain this to Sakura-chan. She’ll never notice otherwise.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with everyone tonight,” Sakura-chan says, looking questioningly at Kero-chan, who has submerged himself in a cake. “Eriol-kun is upset and Yue-san is upset and Oniichan and Yukito-san are all serious and Akizuki-san is gloating but I don’t see why she’d be gloating if Eriol-kun was upset.”
“Maybe you should go talk to him,” Li-kun suggests.
“I wouldn’t really advise that,” I pipe up. “Yukito-san was telling Touya-san that Hiiragizawa-kun threw a shoe at his head.”
Sakura-chan gapes. “Eriol-kun did? He must be in a really bad mood!”
Kero-chan gives me a surprised look. “What’s he so upset about?”
He’s in love with Yue. Hm, no, can’t say that. We don’t know if it’s true yet. There’s no valid proof. “Apparently he got caught between Akizuki-san and Yue.”
“Ouch,” Li-kun says. “And he’s still breathing?”
“Emotionally speaking,” I hasten to clarify.
“Oh,” Li-kun says, apparently losing interest since there’s not going to be any bloodshed involving Hiiragizawa-kun. Typical man.
Kero-chan rolls his eyes. “Let me guess, Yue got all paranoid about being replaced again and Akizuki got all annoyed about Eriol liking Yue better.”
I give Kero-chan a surprised look. Apparently he knows Yue and Eriol better than I thought. “Precisely.”
“Just like Yue and Clow. They always got in arguments about the stupidest things.” Kero-chan goes back to his dessert.
I hardly called being abandoned and replaced a ‘stupid thing’, but I don’t really want to argue with Kero-chan. Sakura-chan is looking decidedly distressed. “I’m going to go talk to Yue,” she says.
Well, that ought to be interesting.
****
I feel awful. I didn’t even know Yue-san was upset about something. I mean, I knew he was having trouble adjusting, but who wouldn’t? I guess I really don’t make a good mistress after all.
He’s moping in the room where Clow-san died. Where else? At least I found him quickly. “Ano . . . Yue-san?”
He looks over. “Yes?”
I can see only one solution for this. I walk over and give him a big hug.
He looks startled, which is pretty endearing in of itself. So I let go and smile up at him. “I love you,” I say. “I won’t ever replace you. Unless . . . you want a better mistress.”
“Uh, no,” Yue-san says, looking vaguely guilty. “What makes you think I want a new mistress?”
“Well,” I say, looking at the ground, “you just seemed to love Clow so much, and I’m nothing like Clow. I thought you might want to try again. You know. For someone more like him.”
“I don’t want somebody like him,” Yue-san says with a shrug. “I want him. And anyway, I’m not sure I could stand him being my master anymore. He never told me anything.” He gives me a rare and precious smile. “You’re a much better Mistress than he was.”
I think you could sweep the floor with my jaw.
“Promise you won’t replace me?” Yue-san asks.
“Of course!” I throw my arms around his neck and give him another hug. Much to my surprise, he hugs back.
This went really well. Maybe I’ll try talking to Eriol-kun tomorrow.
****
Waha! We got Yue over one of his hangups. And, uh, were really mean to Eriol. Because we love Eriol! ::lectures him:: It’s all for your own good, Eriol.
Eriol: .....
Part Nine
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