Warnings: Err.... immense idiocy and another cliffhanger.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Crash and Burn
There was a long silence, then Seishirou slowly said “Ha. Ha. Ha.”
Fuuma laughed and sprawled into a chair. “You don’t believe me, huh? Wasn’t sure if you would.” He yawned and stretched. “Was just there, you know. I can see why you like him. He can be the devil incarnate in bed. I think I’ll have the nail marks for a week.” He stood up and leaned very close to Seishirou. “He said that his last time with you was nearly in the shower . . . but you decided on the bed instead. Guess you just have more class than me.”
Seishirou stiffened, but gave him a steady look. “You could have found that out some other way. He might have told Kamui, and Kamui might have told you.”
“Oh? How about these?” Fuuma pulled a handful of photos out of his pocket. “It was a bitch to get Subaru to let me take them. He may be kinky, but he’s not really an exhibitionist. And then I had to go buy a new camera so I could set it on a timer. Really, the whole thing’s been a pain in the ass. But the look on your face promises to be worth it.” He handed the stack over.
Seishirou began to leaf through. They sported Fuuma and Subaru in a number of rather interesting positions. His eyebrows crept higher up his face as he shuffled through the stack, until he finally reached the last one, and they slid through his fingers and fell to the floor.
“You like ‘em?” Fuuma asked with a grin.
Seishirou drew back a fist and swung. Unlike with Kamui, Fuuma had no intention of taking this punch. He dodged neatly to one side, grabbing Seishirou by the wrist and using his momentum to swing his face first into the wall.
“Touchy touchy,” he said with a grin, watching Seishirou stagger backwards. “Wow, this may be the first time I’ve seen you so pissed off that I got the better of you.”
Seishirou regained his balance quickly and whirled around, looking at Fuuma from narrowed eyes. “You fucking bastard,” he spat. “It’s not enough to sleep with me and Kamui, you had to go after Subaru, too?”
“Sure, why not?” Fuuma asked. “Not like I saw him objecting.”
Seishirou swung again, and connected this time, but Fuuma jumped back quickly enough that Seishirou’s fist only grazed his chin.
“Oh, you should hear him,” Fuuma said in a low voice. “If it bothered you to see him with Kamui, I would’ve loved to see your face while he was with me. He screamed so loud that he was hoarse afterwards. Screaming my name.”
Seishirou started forward, a dangerous glint in his eyes, but Fuuma just laughed and dodged out of his reach, moving behind the kitchen table. “He’s totally hot, though,” he said. “Don’t know why the hell you won’t go back to him. Man, for sex like that, I’d put up with being in love.”
“Shut the hell up.” Seishirou pushed the table over, catching Fuuma in the hip as it fell. Fuuma winced and fell backwards against the wall. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, hell yes I do,” Fuuma said with a grin. “Subaru’s quite a talker if you get him going, make him trust you. I’ve heard all about the two of you. God, is he ever in love with you, Seishirou. I didn’t think it was even possible to love someone that much.”
Seishirou reached over the table and grabbed Fuuma by the shirt, dragging him over the wreckage of dinner. “What the hell were you thinking?” he growled. “Sleeping with my Subaru-kun?”
Fuuma yanked free and shoved Seishirou backwards. “Well, I wouldn’t have had to if you would,” he snapped. “Hell, Seishirou, he doesn’t want me. He just wants you, and I’m the closest he can get. He can’t get it from Kamui, are you fucking kidding me? Kamui’s too much of a wuss, I mean, I like the kid, but that’s true.” He leaned closer to Seishirou, practically kissing him. “He loves it when I fuck him, Seishirou, but sometimes . . . it’s your name he screams.”
Seishirou grabbed him by the face and shoved him backwards. “So it’s my fault that you’re fucking Subaru.”
“Hell yes!” Fuuma said, keeping his balance with ease. “If you would just get off your ass and stop being so selfish and give him what he fucking needs, he wouldn’t turn to an asshole like me for comfort! I’ll freely admit that I was partly in this for the fuck, but I’m not going to fucking apologize! I’m doing your fucking job!”
“What the hell for?” Seishirou yelled. “It isn’t any of your God damned business!”
“Oh, fuck that!” Fuuma replied. “And fuck you! Hell if it isn’t my business! I have to put up with all your moping and bitching and I had to watch Subaru emotionally and physically abuse Kamui, which may not really be my business, but I like the kid well enough and I sorta owe him for not killing me! Please, fucking forgive me for trying to help!”
“You thought sleeping with Subaru was going to help?” Seishirou shouted furiously. “What the hell were you trying to accomplish?!”
“I thought that you might take it as a hint to get over yourself and go back to him!” Fuuma retorted. “He’s so fucking miserable that he’s turned to me! How sad is that?”
“You should’ve damn well stayed out of it!”
“Fuck off, Seishirou. I’m sick of listening to you whine. I’ll make the choice easier on you -- get the fuck out.”
Seishirou stared at him. “You’re kicking me out?”
“Hell yes! You’ve been pissing me off so much lately that I can barely stand to be around you! And maybe you’ll take this as encouragement to go back to Subaru! And stop giving me that fucking bullshit about how he’s better off without you! He’s totally miserable!”
Seishirou gave him a long, steady look. Then he turned and walked into the bedroom.
Fuuma leaned against the wall, trying not to look as nervous as he’d been. He was well aware that Seishirou could have decided to kill him right then, but he’d calculated very carefully to anger the older man just enough. He righted the table and started to pick up the dishes.
Seishirou walked out with a bag containing some of his belongings. “I’ll come back for the rest in a few hours,” he said coolly. “I don’t have anything to carry it in right now.”
“Works for me,” Fuuma said, calmly dumping the dishes in the sink.
“I hope you don’t expect me to go whining to Subaru-kun,” Seishirou added.
“You’d fucking better,” Fuuma replied, not looking up.
Seishirou turned and left without another word.
~~~~
By the time Subaru had calmed down and Fuuma had left, he decided there wasn’t any point in going out to work until after Kamui had gone to sleep. He didn’t feel particularly tired, so he’d be able to stay up late. And Kamui would certainly understand and not object if Subaru wasn’t in the mood for sex.
He decided to cook dinner. Kamui liked it when he cooked dinner, and Subaru was definitely invested in making Kamui stay. It wasn’t so much that Kamui loved him, or that he loved Kamui (certainly not the latter). But Kamui did care for him, and Subaru was convinced that Seishirou was never coming back. Kamui was better than no one.
He had just tossed the ingredients together for a stir fry and was wondering if Kamui was going to make it home before it was ready. Kamui had been spending a lot of time with Keiichi lately. Subaru wasn’t exactly jealous, so much as terrified. Someday, he was sure, Keiichi would convince Kamui to leave. He was trying to resign himself to this possibility, but really, the thought of being alone scared him more than anything else.
Subaru glanced up as the doorbell rang. “Haaii!” he called, putting down the vegetables that he’d been chopping and going to answer it. He pulled the door open and blinked, backing away a step. “S-Seishirou-san . . .”
“May I come in, Subaru-kun?” Seishirou asked, sounding civil but cold.
“Uhm . . . sure, I guess,” Subaru said faintly. “But Kamui’s going to be home soon so you probably shouldn’t stay. Is this about the memory thing again? I’ve been very careful about it, honestly.”
“It’s not about that,” Seishirou said, stepping inside. “I hear you’ve been seeing Fuuma.”
“Uh, well, yeah,” Subaru stammered. “He’s hanging around here a lot, because he’s friends with Kamui again, and -- ”
“No,” Seishirou said. “I hear you’ve been seeing Fuuma.”
Subaru paled. “I-I haven’t . . . really been . . .”
“I saw the pictures,” Seishirou said, taking a few steps forward. For every step he took, Subaru backed up, until Seishirou had him pinned up against the wall. “Even I didn’t know you could bend like that. Why didn’t you ever tell me you were double-jointed?”
“Fuuma’s much more creative than you,” Subaru whispered.
Seishirou put his hands on Subaru’s shoulders and slammed him up against the wall. “How could you let him touch you?” he snarled.
Subaru looked away. “The same way I let you touch me all those years,” he murmured. “He’s no worse than you.”
“How can you say that?” Seishirou half-yelled. “He doesn’t care for you at all! All he wants from you is sex!”
“Well,” Subaru said coldly, “what else did you ever want from me?”
Seishirou swallowed hard. “That’s not true and you know it,” he said. “You know that I loved you.”
“You’re wrong,” Subaru said steadily. “I never knew that. You certainly never did anything to show it. And you’re wrong about Fuuma. Maybe he isn’t a sterling specimen of humanity, but he didn’t just do this for sex. He did more for me than you ever did. You know nothing about it, so don’t be so God damned quick to judge.”
“You had no right to let him touch you!” Seishirou yelled.
“Oh, that’s great, Seishirou!” Subaru shoved him backwards, freeing himself. “So I still belong to you and no one else can touch me, but you won’t be with me either? How the hell do you expect me to get by, in that case?”
“That isn’t what I said,” Seishirou objected. “But Fuuma . . . Fuuma isn’t . . .”
“Go to hell, Seishirou!” Subaru shouted. “I’m allowed to fuck Kamui, but I’m not allowed to be fucked by Fuuma because that’s infringing on your property? Is that what I am to you? Your PROPERTY?!”
“That’s not -- ”
“And while I’m on the subject,” Subaru interrupted, “it’s not like you took it so well when you found out I was sleeping with Kamui, either, now did you? Fuuma told me that story! He told me that he practically couldn’t walk the next day!”
“How the hell is that any of your business?” Seishirou yelled.
“How the hell is what I do with Fuuma any of yours?” Subaru yelled back, his voice quickly approaching shrieking volume. “I don’t belong to you, Seishirou! You gave me up!”
“I wanted you to be happy with -- ”
“SHUT UP!” Subaru screamed. “YOU DIED!”
Seishirou stopped. “That’s what this is about?” he asked in a low voice.
“You died,” Subaru repeated, tears running down his face. “You died and you left me. You didn’t even want me enough to live. How can I believe that I meant anything to you?”
“It wasn’t because you didn’t mean anything to me,” Seishirou said.
Subaru glared at him, wiping the tears away. “But I didn’t mean enough.”
Seishirou didn’t reply.
“Fucking selfish bastard,” Subaru said, without spirit. “You always had to have your cake and eat it to. You won’t just own me the way I got used to, but you won’t give up your claim on me, so I’m not allowed to have anyone else. Isn’t that just fucking peachy.”
“Subaru -- ”
“Get out,” Subaru said, burying his face in his hands. “Go away. And don’t come back.”
Seishirou hesitated, then left the apartment.
Subaru stayed that way for a long time, trying not to cry. Before he could really regain control of himself, the door opened. He straightened up, half expecting that Seishirou was back, but it was only Kamui, with Keiichi in tow.
“Hey, Subaru,” Kamui said, glancing into the kitchen. “Did you start dinner?”
“Yeah, I . . .” Subaru swallowed hard. “Didn’t finish it though. Got distracted.”
Kamui smiled at him and gave him a brief hug. “That’s all right. Keiichi and I will do it. Okay?”
Subaru nodded, feeling an odd sort of numbness starting to spread throughout his entire body. It was like being given a shot of novacaine straight to the heart. He thudded heavily in one of the kitchen chairs and watched Kamui and Keiichi. The two of them were so . . . close. They touched often, and shared secret smiles, and didn’t seem to worry about anything.
Subaru knew they were sleeping together. How could he not? But he didn’t object. Selfish though he often was, he tried not to be hypocritical.
Kamui was going to leave him.
“I’m not hungry,” he said softly, and vanished into his room without waiting to hear their response.
It was almost an hour before Kamui came into the bedroom. “Keiichi’s gone,” he said. “You all right?”
Subaru shook his head and sat up. “You two . . .” he said, his voice trembling. “You’re going to leave me for him, aren’t you?”
Kamui paled slightly. “Subaru, I won’t leave you unless I know you’re going to be okay,” he said, in a soothing tone of voice. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re going to leave me,” Subaru choked out. “I’m going to be all alone.”
“Subaru, I’m not -- ”
“You love him,” Subaru said. “It . . . it’s so obvious. And he loves you too. How could you not leave me for him?”
“Subaru, you’re being stupid,” Kamui said sharply.
“I don’t want you to see him anymore,” Subaru said, his voice tinged with desperation.
Kamui went very still. “What?”
“I don’t want you to!” Subaru blurted out. “He’ll take you away from me! You have to stay with me!”
Kamui turned to him, very slowly. “Don’t say that, Subaru,” he said softly. “If you don’t say it again, I’ll pretend you didn’t already say it. Because I won’t listen.”
“You can’t see him anymore!” Subaru protested, standing up. “I won’t let you! You have to be mine!”
Kamui looked at him calmly. “Try again,” he said.
“He’ll make you leave me!” Subaru said. “I won’t let him take you away from me! He already threatened once! And I won’t let it happen! You’re mine, no one else’s! I don’t want to be alone anymore, I won’t let it happen!”
Kamui turned away.
“If you loved me, you’d stop seeing him,” Subaru said in a small voice.
Kamui turned back, and there was a wistful smile on his face. He walked over and drew Subaru into his arms. “Aa,” he whispered, into Subaru’s ear. “I do love you, very much. You’re one of the most important things in the world to me. I want to save you more than anything else.”
He let Subaru go and took a step back. “But you don’t want to be saved, Subaru . . . so I can’t help you anymore.”
“No,” Subaru whispered.
“I’m sorry, Subaru,” Kamui said quietly. “I didn’t want it to be like this. But you’re not giving me any choice. I won’t give Keiichi up. Not for anything. Not even for you.”
“No, please . . .” Subaru fell to his knees, his hands clutching at the hem of Kamui’s shirt.
“I told you,” Kamui said, his fingers gently coming through Subaru’s hair, “that if you tried to make me do anything I didn’t want to do, I’d go. I can’t just sit here my whole life and be hurt by you, Subaru. I’m sorry.”
He leaned down and kissed Subaru’s forehead.
“Ai shiteru, Subaru . . . sayonara.”
~~~~
Keiichi and his roommates were gathered around the television when the doorbell rang. Keiichi, as by far the nicest one there, dragged himself off the couch to answer it, while one of the others muted the television.
“Hey,” Keiichi said, seeing Kamui shivering on his doorstep. “C’mon in. Geez, I only got home like ten minutes ago. What -- ”
“I left Subaru,” Kamui whispered.
Keiichi blinked. “Left him, like left him? For good?”
Kamui nodded and burst into tears.
Keiichi grimaced, put an arm around Kamui’s waist, and guided him into the bedroom. He didn’t bother with words; just sat down on the bed and pulled Kamui into his arms. He had known this would happen, whenever Kamui finally managed to leave. As much as Subaru had hurt him, Kamui still loved him.
As for Keiichi, he was attempting to squash the part of him that was leaping for joy. Given that Kamui was in hysterics, it was pretty easy.
“What happened?” he finally asked, when Kamui seemed to be calming down.
Kamui sniffled. “He . . . tried to tell me that I couldn’t see you anymore,” he whispered. “And I-I couldn’t . . . I just couldn’t.”
Keiichi smoothed his hair reassuringly. “I’m really proud of you, Kamui,” he said quietly. “I’m glad you could do that for me.”
Kamui let out another choked sob. “He’s going to kill himself,” he said. “I know he is. I just took away the last thing he was holding on for. He’s going to die and it’s going to be all my fault because I couldn’t give you up.”
“That’s not true!” Keiichi said, shaking him gently. “It’s not your fault! You couldn’t just stand there and let him do that to you!”
“Maybe it’s all for the best,” Kamui said, drooping into Keiichi’s arms. “I remember thinking . . . after the Final Battle . . . that he might be dead. And hoping that he was. Because at least that way he’d be out of his misery.” He sat up abruptly. “Oh shit. I’d better tell Fuuma.”
“Fuuma? Why tell Fuuma?” Keiichi asked, confused.
“Because, as totally strange as it is, Fuuma’s been helping him a lot,” Kamui said. “He’ll need to know.”
“Okay,” Keiichi said. “Then I think you’d better rest for a while. You look exhausted.”
Kamui nodded. “Phone?”
“Only out in the main room,” Keiichi said, helping him to his feet.
Kamui made a mental note to start remembering things like that, since he was going to be staying there, and followed Keiichi out. He gave his new roommates a wan smile and picked up the phone, dialing Fuuma’s number.
“Moshi moshi.” Fuuma still sounded annoyed.
“Ano . . . Fuuma . . . it’s me.”
“Oh, hey, Kamui, what’s up?” Fuuma flopped into a chair with the cordless, frowning faintly.
“I-I thought you should know . . . that I, um, left Subaru. Again. For good this time.”
“No kidding?” Fuuma sounded neither upset nor surprised. “What’d he do?”
“He tried to tell me I couldn’t see Keiichi anymore,” Kamui said, rather uncomfortably aware that the other three were listening intently, trying to pick up scraps of information without asking. “And I walked out.”
“Oh.” Fuuma paused. “Did Seishirou come by?”
Kamui blinked, taken aback. “Not that I know of, but I got home pretty late. And . . .” he paused suddenly. “Subaru did seem upset when I got there, and he’s historically known to take it out on me when something else goes wrong.”
Fuuma breathed out a soft swear. “I’m going to kick Seishirou’s ass when I find him again,” he said. “Look, I’ll swing by Subaru’s and make sure he doesn’t try anything stupid, okay?”
“You may as well not,” Kamui said softly. “He’ll be happier dead.”
Fuuma paused. “That’s true. But I’d at least like to talk to him beforehand.”
“Okay,” Kamui said. “Thanks . . . for . . . just for being there, I guess.”
“No problem, Kamui.” Fuuma hung up without another word.
Kamui silently placed the phone back in the cradle and turned to face the others. “I, uh, guess I’m going to be staying here now,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “If that’s all right with all of you.”
There were a few murmurs of agreement. Nobody seemed to know what to say.
“C’mon,” Keiichi said quietly, putting an arm around his shoulders. “You need to get some rest.”
Kamui allowed Keiichi to guide him into the bedroom, help him onto the bed, and tuck him in. “Please . . . don’t go . . . you can do homework or something, I don’t care, but . . . I’d rather not be alone right now.”
“Sure,” Keiichi said, holding Kamui’s hand. “Whatever you need.”
~~~~
Fuuma was busy cursing under his breath as he rode the elevator up to Subaru’s apartment. He was cursing Seishirou, the Tree, the entire Sakurazuka Clan, Subaru, his clan, Kamui, Keiichi, the building, the elevator, his camera, and anything else that came within easy reach and might be remotely connected to the situation.
Especially whatever God of timing that had decreed that Kamui finally leaving would happen on the same day as Seishirou’s little tantrum.
Though that, probably, wasn’t God’s fault. Something had obviously happened between Subaru and Seishirou, because Subaru always took it out on Kamui when something happened between him and Seishirou.
Really, the whole thing was one big clusterfuck, and Fuuma was ready to bang heads together.
Subaru didn’t answer the doorbell, so Fuuma used the spare key that Kamui had long ago shown him. He walked into the Sumeragi’s bedroom to see him sitting on the floor with shreds of paper around him, mumbling feverishly to himself and ripping photographs. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to connect the gaps in the ‘wallpaper’ with what Subaru was going. Fuuma winced. Subaru was pissed.
“Hey, babe.” For the moment, Fuuma decided to act like nothing was wrong. Most likely not the best course of action, but not the worst, and by far the easiest. “Whatcha doing?”
“Don’t want to see his face anymore,” Subaru spat. He stood and grabbed another handful of photographs off the wall, scattering them all over the ground.
“Okay, slow down a bit.” Fuuma walked over and grasped Subaru by the wrists, turning the Sumeragi around to look at him. “What happened?”
Subaru slumped against Fuuma. “I made them go,” he said softly. “I made them both go.”
Fuuma shuffled Subaru over to the bed and sat down, pulling the unresisting Sumeragi onto his lap. “Little more specific than that, if you can,” he said.
Subaru described his argument with Seishirou as briefly as he possibly could, then what had happened with Kamui. “A-Are you mad?” he asked hesitantly. “I know you wanted things to come out all right . . .”
“No, I’m not mad,” Fuuma said, smoothing the Sumeragi’s hair. He was, in fact, lying through his teeth. He was livid. But not at Subaru. Fuuma was willing to cut a certain amount of slack because Subaru was Fucked Up. He’d given Seishirou some slack, too, but this was too far -- Seishirou hadn’t had any right to say those things to Subaru, and Subaru had reacted as pretty much anyone would. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Subaru said simply. His eyes were red, but his tears had stopped. “Kamui had a right to go after what I said to him. I had no right to do that, and I know it, and I know that apologizing isn’t going to help. He won’t come back.”
Fuuma said nothing, but simply continued to stroke Subaru’s hair.
“But S-Seishirou-san . . . really doesn’t . . . want me,” Subaru said, his voice hollow. “Fuuma, I . . . I don’t want to be alone.”
Fuuma didn’t know what to say, so he just kissed him.
Subaru leaned into it, wrapping an arm around Fuuma’s shoulders. For a long minute, they stayed that way. “Why?” he finally asked, drawing away.
Fuuma considered for a long minute, then gave the only answer he could. “Because it’s the only kind of comfort I know how to give.”
~~~~~
Kamui woke up feeling tired. Physically and emotionally drained. The room was silent except for the soft noise of a pencil on paper. “Keiichi?” he asked, without opening his eyes.
“Yeah?” Keiichi asked, glancing over. Kamui was still curled into a protective ball, hugging a pillow.
“What time is it?”
“It’s about nine. You should go back to sleep. A good night’s rest will help.”
Kamui opened his eyes. “Tell me you love me,” he whispered.
Keiichi leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Of course I love you.”
“Tell me not to go check on Subaru.”
Keiichi squeezed his hand. “You can’t, Kamui. If you do, he’ll think you might come back to him. You have to leave him alone.”
Kamui closed his eyes again. “Make it stop hurting,” he said, tears starting to slide down his cheeks.
Keiichi smoothed his hair. “I can’t do that, Kamui. But I can help, with time.”
Kamui took a few deep breaths. “All right,” he murmured. “Think I’ll go back to sleep. Keiichi . . .”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Keiichi reassured him.
“Thanks.”
Kamui closed his eyes and slept.
~~~~
Fuuma was pondering the many uses and meanings of sex. He was thinking about what Subaru had said in the shower, about how, their last time, he and Seishirou had made love. He wondered exactly what that phrase meant. Had they just done so? It was true that their sex had been much more gentle than usual, and there was passion and compassion that weren’t usually present.
What, exactly, was ‘making love’? Did love even have anything to do with it? Fuuma wasn’t sure. He knew that Subaru and Seishirou had loved each other desperately, despite both their reluctance to admit it, but they had had sex dozens of times, while only making love once. Kamui had loved Subaru, but Fuuma doubted that Kamui would say he and Subaru had ever made love. Had Kamui made love with Keiichi? Maybe that’s what it was, the certain glow that someone got afterwards.
Fuuma didn’t love anyone, not really, not in the romantic sense. Was it impossible, then, for him to make love to somebody? He and Seishirou fucked, there was simply no better way of putting it. He and Subaru . . . what was that, exactly, anyway? Sympathy sex?
And why the hell were there so many terms for sex anyway? Fucking, screwing, making love, boinking, horizontal surfing, banging . . . the list went on. So many names for such a basic act. Really, sex was just procreation, if you were a man and a woman. So why were two men even able to have sex? Why would they ever want to?
Because they loved each other?
Or just for the pleasure of a quick bang?
“Fuuma?” Subaru spoke quietly into the haze of cigarette smoke that he was filling the room with. “Will you do something for me?”
“Depends on what it is, babe,” Fuuma said. He was smoking a cigarette of his own. He felt like he deserved it. All the thinking deep thoughts was giving him a headache anyway.
“Will you kill me?”
Fuuma hesitated. “No, Subaru. I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” Subaru didn’t sound upset, just curious.
Fuuma considered his words for a long minute. “Because you have to take responsibility,” he finally said. “Don’t get me wrong . . . if you want to commit suicide, I won’t say a word against it, except for the fact that I’ll miss you. If I were you, I’d probably do it too. But I can’t do it for you, Subaru. You have to make that decision yourself and follow through. If you get cold feet at the last second, I won’t be able to do anything about that, but you might be able to stop yourself in time.”
“I guess,” Subaru said quietly.
“Is there anything I can say to stop you?” Fuuma asked.
“No,” Subaru replied. And that was all for a long minute. “How do you think I should?” he asked curiously. “I could hang myself from the Tree. That would be poetic.”
“Overly dramatic.” Fuuma lit another cigarette from the ashes of his first. “There’s always slitting your wrists.”
“Takes too long, used too often by rock stars,” Subaru argued. “I don’t have any pills that I could use.”
“How about the time-honored tradition of hara-kiri?” Fuuma suggested.
“Ew. I’m not going to disembowel myself.”
“Well,” Fuuma said, “then what about seppuku instead? That’s through the heart rather than the stomach. Much quicker. And it’s what samurai did when their lord died . . . because they had nothing left to live for. Now that’s poetic.”
“Aa . . . that’s very true.” Subaru stubbed out his cigarette.
“I’ll miss you, though,” Fuuma said with a smile. He pondered mentioning Kamui, but it wouldn’t do any good. Kamui had made his choice, and from what he’d said on the phone, he understood the consequences. And Fuuma was all right with that. Kamui couldn’t sit around and be Subaru’s keeper his entire life, not when he had Keiichi to think about. “Honestly.”
“Arigatou,” Subaru said, sitting up.
Fuuma thought about it for a second, and made a quick decision. He would give Seishirou one last chance. If Subaru’s impending death wasn’t enough to make him back down, nothing was. Therefore, he had to stall Subaru. “How does the Tree pick a new guardian, in the event of a suicide?” he asked, trying to sound mildly curious.
“I don’t know, actually,” Subaru replied, pulling his pants on, apparently not wanting to die naked. “I suppose it has to choose from among the Sakurazuka family tree. For all I know, the position would go back to Seishirou-san.”
“Mm . . . think you ought to give it a last meal?” Fuuma suggested. “You know, in case it takes a bit.”
Subaru paused. “You’re right. I probably should.” Now that he had made up his mind, he seemed in no hurry to die. It was enough to know that he would in the relatively near future.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Fuuma stood up and embraced Subaru. “It’s been fun, babe,” he said. “Someday I’ll catch you on the flip side.”
~~~~
For once, luck seemed to be with Fuuma. Seishirou was at his house, collecting the rest of his belongings, when Fuuma got there. He glanced up, but said nothing, as Fuuma walked in.
“Seishirou, you listen to me and you listen good,” Fuuma said, trying to convey his urgency in his voice. “I just left Subaru’s.”
“That’s nice.” Seishirou’s voice was even, and cold.
Fuuma grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him against a wall. “No. You will listen to me. He’s going to kill himself.”
Seishirou said nothing, but there was a flicker of alarm in his eyes.
“And don’t tell me I’m overreacting because I’m not. Kamui’s left him, for good this time, because Subaru took out his anger at you on him. I was just there. I fucking helped him decide on a suicide method. I know he’s going to do this.”
Seishirou still said nothing.
“Before you ask me why I didn’t try to talk him out of it, it’s because there wasn’t a fucking chance in hell that anything I said would make a difference. Not me, not Kamui either. Nobody except you has a ghost of a chance at stopping him.”
Seishirou shook Fuuma off. “If he wants to die, that’s his right,” he said. His voice was hollow.
“And are you prepared to live without him?” Fuuma asked in a low voice. “Or are you going to kill yourself too?”
Seishirou didn’t reply.
“You fucking coward!” Fuuma yelled. “You could stop this! Why won’t you?!”
“Because it’s time to end this,” Seishirou spat out. “This whole twisted tragedy that comprises my life. I’m fucking sick of it.”
Fuuma punched him across the face, hard, then grabbed him and shoved him against the wall again. “Three words, Seishirou: Suck. It. Up. You think you’re the only one whose life has ever sucked? Not a fucking chance in hell.”
He let Seishirou go and backed away a step.
“But you’re the only person I know who had everything they needed to fix it right in front of them, and just never did.”
~~~~~
Subaru lost track of how many people he killed. He’d forgotten why he was killing them anyway. He just did it, because somewhere, in the back of his mind, he hated them. All of them. He hated them so much that he wanted them to die, simply because he knew they were happier than him.
It was impossible not to be.
A dozen, maybe? Maybe. Maybe more.
He fell over under the Tree and stared up through its branches. He could feel its growing alarm, almost panic. He didn’t care. He didn’t really care about anything anymore.
Sumeragi Subaru began to laugh.
~~~~~
Seishirou got behind the wheel of his car and began to drive. Subaru would be at the Tree, so that was where he was going. He didn’t even know why. Somehow Fuuma had goaded him into it, and at the moment, Seishirou was pretty pissed at the teenager for being able to do so.
He was breaking every speed limit ever set, only hoping he could make it in time.
He felt a sudden surge of alarm and warning -- the Tree? -- before his head suddenly began to throb with such force that for a moment he wondered vaguely if it was still attached.
The spell. Subaru and his God damned spell.
Seishirou blacked out.
~~~~~
Chapter Twenty-Five
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