Warnings: Um... limon? Too heavy for a lime, not graphic enough for a lemon, I don’t think. Angsting!Seishirou, which I know annoys some people... he’ll get better, I swear. And violence. ^_^ And I think this chapter is shorter than usual.
Chapter Sixteen: Listen
“Gee, I could’ve sworn we had this conversation yesterday,” Fuuma said cheerfully, leaning against the doorframe. “Let’s check the record, shall we? It’s . . . half past one in the afternoon, and yet again, you’re still in bed!”
“Fuck off, Fuuma,” Seishirou said, mumbling half into his pillow. “I had a bad morning.”
“And this is different from yesterday morning in what way exactly?” Fuuma asked, trying not to sound too sarcastic.
“I woke up this morning after you had gotten up,” Seishirou said quietly. “And I couldn’t remember who I was.”
Fuuma blinked. “Okay, I’m going to take a stand here and say that’s not good. And I know that from personal experience.”
“You’re telling me,” Seishirou snapped. “The difference is, there’s a reason it happened to you. I’m fairly certain that’s what was required before you could survive the final battle. I have no idea why it would be happening to me.”
Fuuma looked at him thoughtfully. “This isn’t the first time, is it. Besides that other time, I mean.”
“No,” Seishirou said flatly. “It’s been happening on and off for a few days now. Sometimes I don’t remember anything, sometimes it’s just bits and pieces that are gone. And then, yesterday night, I remembered everything, including what Subaru-kun took from me in order to save my life. I don’t see how on earth that could have happened unless -- ” He stopped.
“Unless?” Fuuma prompted.
“Oh hell,” Seishirou groaned. “I should’ve thought of that. Subaru-kun’s never done a memory spell like that before. He probably did it on instinct alone and now it’s falling apart, and taking the rest of my memory with it.”
Fuuma frowned, considering this. “The first time it happened was right after Kamui tried to kill himself.”
Seishirou blinked. “Kamui tried to kill himself?”
“Oh, yeah, forgot you didn’t know that. Well, he did. He’s okay -- he got out of the hospital yesterday. But . . .”
“But if Subaru-kun was very upset, then it would make sense that he wouldn’t be concentrating on the spell and that’s probably when it got disrupted,” Seishirou said flatly. “I’d better call him.”
“You sound like you’d rather have your fingers chopped off,” Fuuma replied.
“Well, I’m certainly not looking forward to talking to him,” Seishirou snapped back, reaching for the phone.
“Do it tonight,” Fuuma said. “Make sure Kamui’s home in case Subaru freaks out or something.”
Seishirou paused. “I suppose I should.”
“Yes. Now go find something to do with your day. I’m officially kicking you out of my house for a while. If I see you back here before dinner time, I’ll kick your ass.”
“Charming as always,” Seishirou said dryly, but he climbed out of bed and began to dress.
Satisfied, Fuuma turned and walked away.
~~~~
By the time Subaru got home from where he’d been working, Kamui was cooking dinner. He smiled as Subaru came in and nodded his greeting. Dinner passed quickly and mostly in silence; Subaru was obviously brooding about something.
“Come on,” he said, interrupting Kamui before he could put the dishes away. “I want to show you something.”
Kamui raised an eyebrow, but let Subaru take his hand and tow him down the hall and into the bedroom. Subaru let him go and stood, looking pensively at the wall next to the bed. Then he reached out and took down one of the pictures. He looked at it for a long minute, then tossed it into the trash can.
Kamui said nothing.
“I-I . . .” Subaru swallowed hard. “I won’t ever forget him . . . or stop loving him. I know that now. It was wrong to try. I don’t want to take them down . . . but I will. Every day, I’ll take down another. And maybe by the time they’re all gone . . . it won’t hurt as much anymore.”
Kamui reached over and hugged him gently. Subaru clutched at him for a minute, then relaxed, letting Kamui hold him.
“Please don’t ever leave me,” he murmured.
“Shhh,” Kamui said, smoothing his hair. “I won’t.”
Subaru spoke in a very small voice. “You love me?”
“Yes, Subaru. I love you.”
“And you . . . you don’t love anyone else?” Subaru asked, his voice trembling. “Not even Fuuma?”
“Especially not Fuuma,” Kamui said firmly, neatly sidestepping the question with a twinge of guilt. “You have nothing to worry about, Subaru.” He tilted his head up and kissed Subaru.
Subaru relaxed into the kiss and took a few steps towards the bed, pulling Kamui with him. Kamui allowed Subaru to tow him along and push him down onto the bed. He surrendered to Subaru’s gentle caresses, his mind turning off and instinct taking over. It had never been quite like this before. Subaru was moving much slower than usual, and Kamui got the impression that for once he was actually savoring the act, instead of trying to hurry through it for the conclusion.
Still, he was not exactly gentle; at least, not gentle in the way that Keiichi was. His kisses were still desperate and intense, his fingers still dug in painfully at moments. Kamui didn’t mind. He was able to ignore those minor problems in favor of the larger good. Which was, at the moment, extremely good.
By the time Subaru had gotten all his clothes off, he had practically forgotten his own name. He barely had time to catch his breath as Subaru stood up to remove his pants (having lost his shirt earlier).
Subaru lowered himself carefully on top of Kamui, pressing his lips against the younger boy’s in a fierce kiss. He had spoken a little earlier, whispers of phrases that probably meant nothing, but he was nearly silent now as his hands traced over Kamui’s body. Kamui was anything but silent, directing Subaru’s hands as best he could with the noises he made.
“Oh God . . .” His back arched and his hips jerked up as Subaru’s hand wrapped around him, stroking him gently. “Please . . .”
The phone rang.
For a second, they both stared at it incredulously. Then Subaru went back to what he was doing. When it rang a second time, his other hand reached over to the table and fumbled around for it. Unfortunately, his arm wasn’t long enough.
“I’ll get it,” Kamui managed, seeing that Subaru might actually stop what he was doing in order to get the phone. He picked up the phone and placed it in the vague vicinity of his ear. “Unnh? I mean, moshi moshi?” Someone said something, or at least he assumed they did, as he had just picked up a telephone, but the roaring in his ears drowned it out. He shook his head to clear it. “Sorry, didn’t catch that,” he gasped out.
“Can I talk to Subaru?” the voice repeated.
“Uhhhm . . .” Kamui closed his eyes, his head rocking backward. “Busy,” he managed. “He’s busy. Verrrrry busy.”
“It’s rather important,” the voice said irritably.
Subaru’s hands paused in what they were doing, long enough for Kamui’s brain to kick into gear and identify the voice as Seishirou’s. He grinned slightly. “So’s this,” he said, glancing over to see Subaru pulling the lube out of the top drawer.
“Kamui, just put Subaru on the damned phone, okay?”
Kamui bit down hard on his lip as one of Subaru’s fingers slid into him. For a minute, he forgot that he was on the phone at all, then managed to sort it all out in his brain. “Look,” he gasped out, holding back another moan, “Subaru’s in the best mood he’s been in for months, I’m having great sex for the first time in my life, and you can just call back in an hour, okay? So fuck off.” He tossed the phone back in the general direction of the cradle, not really caring if he got it on the hook or not.
Within about another thirty seconds, he’d forgotten he’d been on the phone at all.
Afterwards, the two of them were lying in a tangled heap on the bed, both of them sleepy but quite content. Kamui was debating the relative merits of dragging himself out of bed and thus not waking up sticky, or falling asleep right where he was. Both had a great deal of appeal. He was jolted out of his half-sleep when the phone started the obnoxious beeping that indicated it had been left off the hook.
Subaru fumbled around and managed to get it back into the cradle. Kamui frowned, considering. If it had taken that long to start beeping, that meant that Seishirou had probably stayed on the line for quite a bit.
He shrugged the thought off. He couldn’t be held responsible for Seishirou’s masochism. If he wanted to listen to them having sex, it wasn’t Kamui’s problem. A few minutes later, however, the phone rang again. Subaru reached over and scooped it up before Kamui could think of a way to stop him. He rested the phone on his shoulder and mumbled, “Sumeragi desu.”
From Kamui’s position with his head on Subaru’s chest, he could hear Seishirou’s voice quite clearly. “Subaru-kun?”
“Hmm . . . yeah, ‘sme.” Subaru yawned hugely.
“Can I talk to you about something?”
The voice finally seemed to click in Subaru’s half-asleep mind. “Seishirou-san?”
“Yes, it’s me. I need to ask you something. It’s important.”
“Oh . . . okay.” Subaru closed his eyes and tried to move his ear closer to the phone.
“Do you remember the memory spell you did?” Seishirou asked.
“Yeah . . . course I do.”
“It seems to be backfiring,” Seishirou said. “My memory is coming and going. All of it, including what you erased. As far as I can tell, it’s linked to when something traumatic happens in your life, like what happened with Kamui. Did you actually know how to do that spell or were you just making it up?”
Subaru didn’t reply. His breathing was slow and steady.
“Subaru-kun?”
Kamui fought back the urge to giggle and picked up the phone. “Seishirou?”
Seishirou made a frustrated noise. “What happened to Subaru?”
“He fell asleep.” Kamui yawned and grinned. “I wore him out. Try calling tomorrow.” With that, he hung up the phone. He barely had enough energy to drag the covers up over himself and Subaru before falling asleep.
~~~~
Fuuma walked into the living room to see Seishirou on the cordless phone, staring gloomily off into space. He wasn’t speaking, though he would occasionally flinch.
“Who’re you talking to?” he asked curiously.
Seishirou didn’t answer other than to glare daggers at him.
Fuuma grinned and walked over to the base of the phone, then reached out and pressed the button that switched it to speaker phone. He nearly jumped backwards at the sounds coming from the phone. “Wow, Seishirou, you making 900 calls now?”
Seishirou leapt out of his chair as he realized what Fuuma had gone, then seemingly lost all steam and slumped back down.
Fuuma listened closely. “That’s Subaru and Kamui,” he stated after a moment.
“What tipped it off, Kamui screaming Subaru’s name?” Seishirou snapped. “I think he’s only doing that because he knows I’m listening.”
Fuuma raised an eyebrow. “He knows you’re listening? Explain this, please.”
“I called to ask about the stupid memory thing and they were occupied, Kamui attempted to hang up on me but apparently just tossed the phone rather than hanging it up.”
“That doesn’t mean he knows you’re listening,” Fuuma said. “Then again, Kamui is rather spiteful at times, so you could be right.” Kamui was apparently far louder in bed than Subaru, though the onmyouji’s voice definitely did not go unheard. Fuuma let a few minutes pass without saying anything, until the sex was quite obviously over and done with. Then he reached over and hung up the phone.
“You’re a masochist, you know that?” he asked pleasantly.
“Fuck off,” Seishirou said to the floor.
“What the hell were you listening to them for?” Fuuma asked. “You knew it was only going to make you more depressed.” When Seishirou didn’t answer, he rolled his eyes and left the room. He got himself a glass of iced tea, biding his time in the kitchen and giving Subaru and Kamui some time to recover. Then he came back out and tossed the phone to Seishirou. “Call again.”
Seishirou gave him a look as if he thought Fuuma were deranged. “What the hell for?”
“They’re done. You can talk to Subaru now. Call or else I’ll call them myself.”
Seishirou gave him a dirty look and dialed. Fuuma waited and listened in interest.
“Subaru-kun? . . . Can I talk to you about something?” Seishirou stood up and began to pace. “Yes, it’s me. I need to ask you something. It’s important . . . Do you remember the memory spell you did? . . . It seems to be backfiring. My memory is coming and going. All of it, including what you erased. As far as I can tell, it’s linked to when something traumatic happens in your life, like what happened with Kamui. Did you actually know how to do that spell or were you just making it up? . . . Subaru-kun?”
His pacing stopped. He stood still in the middle of the room.
“What happened to Subaru?”
There was a long silence. Then Seishirou very slowly and deliberately pressed the button on the phone that hung it up.
“What happened?” Fuuma asked.
“He fell asleep,” Seishirou said flatly. “While I was talking to him. Then Kamui picked up the phone and hung up on me.”
“Oh,” Fuuma said. He was beginning to think it was time for a strategic retreat. Seishirou had a rather strange look in his eyes.
Seishirou threw the phone across the room. It hit the wall and shattered, sending pieces of plastic flying everywhere. Fuuma dodged one easily. “That was my phone,” he said, his voice still perfectly calm, but just a touch amused.
“I don’t care,” Seishirou growled.
“Oh, don’t get all pissy on me,” Fuuma said. “You’re the one who listened in on their sex. It’s your own fault, really.”
“Shut the hell up,” Seishirou snapped. “Seeing as my life is kind of in pieces right now, do you think you could cut me a little slack?”
“I would,” Fuuma retorted, “if you deserved it.”
Seishirou glared up at him, his eyes flashing dangerously.
“Give me a break, Seishirou,” Fuuma said, well aware he was on thin ice and charging ahead anyway. “You’re all ‘I want Subaru to be happy with Kamui’ but the minute he shows any real sign of actually being happy with Kamui, you tweak out. Pick an opinion, for God’s sake. If you want to be with Subaru so badly, just go be with Subaru.”
“I can’t,” Seishirou said, staring at the floor.
“You won’t,” Fuuma corrected.
Seishirou grabbed Fuuma by the arm and twisted it around behind his back, simultaneously slamming him into the wall. “I’ve told you not to talk about that,” he said in a low voice. He kept Fuuma’s arm twisted with one hand and used the other to grab a handful of Fuuma’s hair, yanking his head backwards. “It’d be best if you listened to me.”
Fuuma snickered, despite his position. “Touchy, touchy. What side of whose bed did you wake up on this morning?”
Seishirou pulled his head further back, making Fuuma wince. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
Fuuma said nothing.
“Thank you.” Seishirou relaxed his grip.
Fuuma whirled around the second he could squirm free and hooked his foot around one of Seishirou’s ankles, effectively knocking the older man to the floor. Seishirou grabbed him and knocked him down as well, pinning him to the floor. “What the hell is your problem?” he asked. “You think you can win against me that way? I have more practice with physical combat than you could ever hope to have.”
“Yeah, I know,” Fuuma said with a smirk. “But I thought you might appreciate this position more, ne?” He freed one of his hands and slid it up under Seishirou’s shirt.
“Don’t you know the definition of the words ‘not in the mood’?” Seishirou snapped.
“Yeah,” Fuuma replied. “Do you?” He undid a few buttons of Seishirou’s shirt, tugging it out from his pants to get better access and dipping his fingers just below the waistband.
Seishirou closed his eyes. “Fuuma . . .”
“What?” Fuuma asked innocently, undoing the button and zipper of Seishirou’s pants.
“You’re a fucking bastard,” Seishirou murmured.
“Oh, can I please?” Fuuma asked with a grin, rolling Seishirou over so he was the one on the bottom.
“Whatever.” Seishirou turned his head to one side, letting Fuuma caress him. “As long as I stop thinking.”
~~~~
“Kamui. Kamui?” Keiichi snapped his fingers in front of Kamui’s face. “Kamui, you awake in there?”
“Huh?” Kamui jolted back to his senses. “Oh. Hi.” He felt a silly grin beginning to spread across his face. “Good morning.”
Keiichi plopped onto the bench next to Kamui. He’d run across his friend as he walked onto school grounds. Just looking at Kamui’s huge grin made him want to smile. “You look cheerful this morning.”
“Yeah, well . . .” Kamui mumbled something, still grinning.
“Sumeragi-san give you a welcome home present?” Keiichi surmised.
Kamui tried to stop grinning. “Uh, yeah. Of sorts.”
“Well.” Keiichi grinned back. “That’s good.” He looked away quickly before Kamui had a chance to realize he was on the edge of tears. “So, what are you doing after school?” he asked a minute later, after he’d gotten a hold on himself.
“Oh, I told Subaru I would be home right after school,” Kamui said. “He’s going to help me some with my stats, because I’m sure after missing so much I’ll need it.”
“Oh.” Keiichi swallowed hard. “Okay.”
They sat in silence for a brief minute, until the bell rang. Then they stood and began trudging towards the building.
“Actually, you know,” Kamui said suddenly, “Subaru will be up late. He can help me on my stats after dinner. If you want to, you know, do something.”
Keiichi smiled thinly. “It’s okay; you told him you would be home. I understand.”
“You obviously don’t.” Kamui returned the smile, but his was warmer than Keiichi’s. He stopped in front of Keiichi, waiting for his classmate to look at him. “Keiichi, you’re still my best friend. That hasn’t changed. We’re going out this afternoon and that’s the last I want to hear about it.”
Keiichi blinked at him for a minute, then smiled, this time genuinely. “Thanks, Kamui,” he said, pulling the smaller boy into a hug.
Kamui hugged back tightly.
~~~~
Subaru was woken from a sound sleep by the ringing phone. He shook himself awake, then leaned over and picked it up. “Sumeragi desu,” he said.
“Subaru-kun?”
Subaru paused. “Seishirou-san.” He had a dim memory that the man had called the previous day, but couldn’t remember any of what had been said. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I don’t actually remember any of what I said.”
“You didn’t say much, so it doesn’t really matter.” Seishirou’s voice was perfectly calm and controlled. “I need to ask you something.”
“What is it?” Subaru felt slightly nervous. It was distinctly odd to be talking to Seishirou like it was a perfectly normal occurrence.
“About that memory spell that you did . . . do you actually have any training in that sort of spell, or did you just know that you could do it, because I had done it to you, and do it on instinct?”
Subaru felt even more nervous. “Er . . . the latter.”
“That’s what I suspected,” Seishirou said. “It didn’t work. You have to take it down.”
Subaru paused. “I can’t. It’s the only thing keeping them from killing you.”
“You didn’t do it right, Subaru-kun. It’s constantly going up and down, and taking other chunks of my memory with it.”
“Oh,” Subaru managed faintly. “Well . . . I’ll just have to make sure I control it better, then.”
“Subaru-kun, that’s not acceptable,” Seishirou said firmly. “If some catastrophe were to happen in your life, like it did with Kamui, you could lose your grip on it entirely.”
“I’ve got a hold on it now,” Subaru said coldly. “You’re just trying to get yourself killed again.”
Seishirou sighed. “That is not my intention. They wouldn’t even know.”
“Oh, come on, how naive do you think I am?” Subaru asked, sounding amused. “I know the government has the phone in this apartment bugged. Of course they’re keeping tabs on me. And of course they’ll know if I agree to give your memory back. Sorry, Seishirou-san, nothing doing. You’ll just have to live with it.”
“I could break the spell, you know,” Seishirou said calmly.
“No, you can’t,” Subaru replied. “Well, I suppose you could, but it would break inside your mind. You’d probably drive yourself mad, or at least take out the rest of your memory when you did it.”
Seishirou cursed softly. He knew that Subaru was right.
“So I guess you’ll just have to live with it,” Subaru said pleasantly. “Jaa ne, Seishirou-san.”
~~~~
Okay, yes, I *know* Subaru is being a total bastard, and you’re supposed to hate him in that scene, so... live with it. He’s Subaru and he’s fucked up, and he either is obsessing over Seishirou or trying to ignore him completely. Argh.
Chapter Seventeen
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