Warnings: Angst. Angst angst angst and also, angst. TotallyFreakingOut!Subaru and Tragic!Kamui.
Chapter Thirteen: Self-Destruct
Seishirou was somewhat puzzled upon waking to find his cheek pressed against leather instead of the pillow he had grown used to. He pried his eyes open, glanced around, and groaned softly. Somehow he had fallen asleep on Subaru’s sofa. His sofa, technically. It figured. His head was resting against the cushion; he was lying on his side with Subaru spooned up against him.
How the hell had he managed to fall asleep? He’d been planning on leaving as soon as Subaru drifted off, to spare himself the annoyance of, well, waking up with Subaru. In all the years they’d been together, he’d managed to avoid that quite efficiently most of the time.
The last thing he remembered was . . . well . . . Subaru chanting.
Oh hell. Seishirou sat up carefully, untangling himself from Subaru and standing up. He fished around on the floor for his clothes and pulled on his boxers and pants. Subaru stirred a little, but didn’t wake. Seishirou regarded him curiously. What on earth did you do, Subaru-kun? I don’t feel any different.
He wandered into the kitchen and got himself a mug of tea. It was only dawn; Subaru would probably sleep for a while yet. He didn’t have to hurry. He went over to check the fax machine on pure reflex, having done it every morning he had lived there.
There was a brief fax that he picked up and examined, frowning.
‘Report accepted. Your payment has been deposited into the usual account.’
Okay, that’s . . . weird. He remembered that Subaru had been hired to kill him. He also remembered telling Subaru to claim conflict of interest. But claiming that wouldn’t have earned him any payment. Which meant that Subaru must have done something, but he was still alive.
Why was he supposed to kill me, anyway? Seishirou wondered. He leaned against the wall and lit up a cigarette, pondering this new puzzle.
He didn’t remember.
Now that he thought about it, there was a lot he didn’t remember. For one thing, he couldn’t really specifically remember any of the people he had killed. He was sure there had been a reason he had killed them -- he had been hired to do so, after all -- but all the specifics were gone.
He looked down at Subaru. “You erased my memories,” he mused out loud. “You devious little . . .” Words failed him. He simply sighed and turned away. Given that he hadn’t paying any attention to Subaru in the slightest, he was damned lucky Subaru had only erased the memories he had. Subaru was probably only controlling the memories, anyway -- to actually erase information from the brain was quite difficult. If Seishirou wanted, he could probably fight free of it and regain the memories, but there was no particular point in doing so.
He continued to smoke, continued to watch Subaru, wondering why the Sumeragi had been so ethical about what he had controlled. “You could have made me yours,” Seishirou said. “But you didn’t.”
The answer, he supposed, was fairly clear; Subaru didn’t want to gain his love through underhanded means. Seishirou guessed that made Subaru more honorable than he had ever been. Just another reason why they couldn’t be together.
He sighed and picked up his shirt, shrugging it on and doing the buttons. Then he wrote a brief note for Subaru and left the apartment, putting his key on the table underneath the note. He knew he wouldn’t be coming back.
~~~~
Author’s Note: I’m just going to insert here briefly to say don’t be disappointed by the quick wrap-up of that. It isn’t over by a long shot. ^_^
~~~~
Subaru woke up as he heard the door opening. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, pushing his hair out of his face. “Seishirou-san?” he called sleepily. There was no reply. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was barely six o’clock in the morning. He hauled himself off the sofa and looked around for his clothing. It was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and stood. There was a mug of tea sitting on the table next to the couch. He picked it up and sipped at it absently. There was a sheet of paper next to it, which he examined. It was the faxed reply to the one he had sent before finally falling asleep the night before. It seemed satisfactory, so he put it down and began to look for Seishirou.
The apartment was empty except for him. After a few minutes, Subaru picked up the piece of paper that Seishirou had left folded neatly next to the pot of fresh tea in the kitchen.
‘My dear Subaru.’
No letter that started that way was ever good.
‘Please don’t try to find me. I truly do love you, but this is for your own good. You’ll be better off without me. Yours, Seishirou.’
The paper fell from Subaru’s nerveless fingers and drifted to the floor, unnoticed.
He couldn’t even cry.
~~~~
“So what happened?” Fuuma asked from where he was lounging on the sofa. There was a movie on the television, but he appeared to not be paying much attention to it. “You must’ve had some night if you never came home.”
“I don’t really feel like talking about it,” Seishirou said wearily.
“Come on, you’ve got to give me some sort of explanation,” Fuuma said. “You didn’t even tell me what was going on before you bolted out the door.”
“Ever think that there’s a reason for that?” Seishirou lit up a cigarette. He was rather surprised that Fuuma was even awake; it was only ten o’clock in the morning. Then again, he didn’t always lounge in bed until noon.
“Well, yeah, I assumed that you’re being a prig as usual,” Fuuma said with a shrug. “Come on, I thought Kamui hated you. Why was he calling?”
“It’s a little complicated, but the long and the short of it was that Subaru found out I was alive and sort of had trouble dealing with it. Kamui called me over to help.” Seishirou wondered absently why he was explaining any of this. It wasn’t as if it was any of Fuuma’s business, after all. Still, Fuuma had an insatiable sense of curiosity, and it was quite annoying to listen to him whine.
“Oh,” Fuuma said. “Well, that’s good.” He stated this as if the conversation was over and he wanted to move onto other things, particularly the bedroom.
Seishirou glared at him. “No, it isn’t good. It isn’t good at all. I didn’t want him to know, remember?”
Fuuma waved this aside. “Yeah, but that’s just because you were being an idiot.”
Seishirou gave him a withering look.
“So,” Fuuma said brightly. “You work everything out?”
“Yeah,” Seishirou said. “We did.”
Fuuma looked at him for a long minute. “Somehow I’m getting the picture that things weren’t worked out in a manner that I’ll find satisfactory.”
“It’s none of your business,” Seishirou said, trying not to lose his patience. “Since when the hell are you my therapist?”
“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit,” Fuuma replied, picturing himself as a therapist and resisting the urge to snort. He walked over and snatched the cigarette out of Seishirou’s lips, taking a long drag on it before returning it. “I’m asking what my chances are of ever getting you into bed again. Will you just stop being a prick and tell me what happened?”
“We had a nice long talk, over the course of which many things were discussed, including a death wish I didn’t realize I had, Subaru’s utter refusal to ever be with anyone except me, why he’s being hypocritical, and exactly how much I really have fucked up his life. Then I screwed him senseless and came home, leaving him a note and the key I still had to the apartment. Happy now, your Arrogance?”
“No,” Fuuma replied. “I’m hard to please.” At this point, he didn’t really care what had happened, but watching Seishirou squirm was quite amusing, so he decided he would have the whole story no matter how many questions he had to ask. “Why did you leave?”
“Because Subaru,” Seishirou said with utter certainty, “is better off without me.”
Fuuma leaned against the wall. “You know, Seishirou, I could’ve sworn we’ve had this conversation before.”
“We have. That’s why I’ll thank you to drop it.”
Fuuma decided to go ahead and do so. Pressing the issue would be boring and make Seishirou more crabby than he already was. Time for a strategic change of subject. “So what’s up with the death wish?”
“I’m supposed to be dead,” Seishirou said. “I knew that much. But apparently I didn’t realize that a large part of me would prefer it that way. If I was just dead, he could be with Kamui and forget about me. But instead, he’s with Kamui and resents Kamui for it.”
“I dunno,” Fuuma said. “He seemed to be treating Kamui pretty badly before you ever showed up in his life again.”
“That’s not the point,” Seishirou replied, frustrated. “I don’t care whether or not Kamui is happy. If Subaru’s happy mistreating Kamui, I’m all for it.”
Fuuma rolled his eyes. “Good to know.”
“Oh, like you’re a better person. I just told you that you killed hundreds of people, including your sister, and you don’t even seem to care.”
Fuuma paused. “That’s not really fair,” he said. “I haven’t really thought about it much. Unlike you and the rest of your pals, I prefer to stay sane. I’m not going to agonize over something I don’t remember doing.” He frowned thoughtfully. “I think I must’ve changed again when I lost my memory . . . because that isn’t something I would do now. So what the hell is the point?”
“The point,” Seishirou half-snarled, “is that you can shut up about my relationship with Subaru, or the lack thereof. It’s nobody’s business but my own.”
“Wrong,” Fuuma said, mostly to piss Seishirou off. “It’s also his business. And why do I get the feeling that he probably isn’t pleased with this little non-agreement you two have?”
“Subaru doesn’t know what he wants,” Seishirou said wearily. “He doesn’t realize that he’s only hurting himself with this obsession with me. He needs to give up on me and he won’t, so I’m making it easier on him by removing myself from his life.”
“God, you really are a selfish bastard, aren’t you,” Fuuma said, sounding amused. “Who are you to decide what’s best for him?”
“Anyone with half a brain could have seen that our relationship was only hurting him,” Seishirou snapped.
Fuuma shrugged. “Maybe Subaru likes to be hurt.”
“That’s why I’m leaving him alone!”
“You can’t just change the way a person is,” Fuuma said, keeping his voice reasonable, in counterpoint to Seishirou’s rising tone. He’d really had no idea that grilling Seishirou could be this much fun. “Sometimes a person is dominant, sometimes submissive. Sometimes they like to be hurt. Not hurting them won’t change that. It’ll just make them more frustrated.”
“What the hell do you know about it?” Seishirou asked.
“I don’t know, really,” Fuuma said. “I have a vague feeling that I’m speaking from experience, but I wouldn’t know.”
“Just because you thought your obsession with Kamui was natural doesn’t mean I’ll give in to mine,” Seishirou replied.
“Because that’s what it’s all about for you, ain’t it,” Fuuma said with a grin, gleeful to finally get to the argument he wanted to get to. “You have to be in control. God forbid you actually let yourself be in love. Seishirou, you’re so see-through you might as well be a window. You’re not letting him go because you want him to be all right. You’re letting him go because he takes away your control. You love him. That really gets under your skin, doesn’t it.”
“Shut up,” Seishirou said, his voice low and dangerous.
Fuuma just laughed. “In all reality, you’re wrapped around his little finger. You can’t deny him a damn thing. You’re totally obsessed with him. And you hate that, don’t you. So you decide you’ll just break it off entirely and make yourself feel better by saying that it’s for his good.”
“Fuuma,” Seishirou said. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
“You don’t scare me, Seishirou,” Fuuma said, though he was beginning to wonder if he could actually make it to the door before Seishirou killed him. “I know what you really are. Underneath all your calm and all your control, you’re scared shitless. You’re afraid of being in love, and you’d rather abandon Subaru and break his heart yet again than face the loss of that control.”
Seishirou’s arm shot out and he grabbed Fuuma by the throat, pinning him to the wall. “Don’t think I won’t kill you,” he growled.
“You’re only saying that because you know I’m right,” Fuuma managed to choke out. Incredibly, he was still grinning.
Seishirou let go, letting him land on the floor in a heap. “Now who has the death wish?” he asked, lighting himself up another cigarette.
“You wouldn’t have killed me.” Fuuma got to his feet, wincing and massaging his throat.
“What makes you say that?” Seishirou asked mildly.
“Because I was in the perfect position to knee you in the balls,” Fuuma said simply. “And if you’d squeezed any tighter, I would have.”
Seishirou blinked at him.
“I’m going to make breakfast.” Fuuma yawned and stretched. “You want any?”
“Yeah, sure.” Seishirou followed him as he walked into the kitchen. “I assume you know better than to ever bring this up again?”
“Oh, yeah,” Fuuma said. “And I assume you know better than to think I won’t?”
Seishirou sighed. “Do what you want. But you won’t convince me. Even if he didn’t have Kamui, I wouldn’t go back to him.”
“Of course not.” Fuuma reached into the fridge and brought out some milk. “We’ve already covered the real reason you’ve abandoned him. You like pancakes?”
Seishirou glared at him. “I’m going to go take a shower.”
“Hmm . . .” Fuuma turned around and eyed him speculatively.
“No, you cannot join me.”
“Spoilsport.”
Seishirou heaved another sigh, then turned around and headed for the bathroom.
~~~~
“Subaru?” Kamui toed his shoes off and hung his jacket on the peg next to the door. “Subaru, are you home?” It wouldn’t be unusual for Subaru to be out at this time of day, but Kamui had spent all day agonizing over what had happened with Seishirou and he didn’t want to wait any longer.
His question was answered rather quickly, as he found Seishirou’s note, still lying on the floor where Subaru had left it. He read it quickly and glanced at the key that Seishirou had left on the counter, then winced. “God, Seishirou, you really know how to fuck someone up, don’t you.” He paused, then called out louder. “Subaru, are you here?”
He dropped his backpack on the floor in the living room, making a mental note to do his statistics later. Then he padded into the bedroom. Subaru was lying facedown on the bed, his face buried in the pillows. He was wearing only his boxers, as if he’d never bothered to get dressed for the day. “Subaru?” Kamui asked tentatively.
Subaru sat up. He gave Kamui a long, steady look, then turned his face away. “He’s gone,” he said. His voice was dull, dead. Kamui flinched to hear it.
“Yeah, I know,” he said.
“He wants me to be happy with you,” Subaru said. A faint frown creased his face, as if he were trying to analyze this statement. Then he let out a hollow laugh. “And he says that I’m naive.”
Kamui winced. “Subaru, I -- ”
“Shut up.” Subaru stood up and walked toward him. “Just shut up. I don’t want to hear another word from you. Not now, not ever. Do you understand?”
Kamui blinked at him, taken aback, but wisely didn’t open his mouth.
“This is all your fault,” Subaru hissed. “You’re the reason that Seishirou-san left me. If you weren’t here, he would have stayed.”
Kamui bristled. “Subaru, that’s bullshit and you know it. You -- ”
Subaru slapped him hard across the face, sending him reeling. “Shut up! It’s not bullshit! He wants me to be happy with you! If you would just leave me like everyone else does, he would come back!”
“You don’t know that!” Kamui yelled back.
“He loves me!” Subaru screamed, grabbing Kamui by the front of the shirt and throwing him across the room. “He said he loves me! He wouldn’t have left me if you weren’t here!”
Kamui collided with the bed and ended up sprawled out across it. Before he could get up, Subaru grabbed him and pulled him to his feet. “Oh, sure, Subaru!” Kamui snapped. “You keep telling yourself that! But you know you’re wrong; if you were right then why did he get himself killed? You’re only trying to make yourself feel better!”
Subaru slammed him up against the wall. Tears were running down his cheeks. “Don’t talk about that,” he spat out. “He was . . . he was confused, he didn’t know what to do . . .”
“Fuck you, Subaru.” Kamui pushed him backwards, sharply. “You’re lying to yourself and you damn well know it.”
Subaru stumbled, then regained his balance and backhanded Kamui hard enough to knock him to the ground. Kamui lay on the floor, slightly dazed, wondering exactly why the room was spinning. Subaru straddled him, pinning his elbows to the floor with his knees so he couldn’t move. “You think you know me so well?” he snarled. “You think you know Seishirou? He thinks that I don’t know what’s best for me.”
“He’s fucking right,” Kamui replied, his voice sharp. “You don’t.”
Subaru punched him in the jaw; Kamui’s head rocked to one side but he didn’t cry out. “He says that you’re what’s best for me. Funny thing about that, he knows I treat you like shit and he doesn’t give a damn. You’re the acceptable sacrifice to him. He doesn’t care if you’re miserable, as long as I’m happy.”
“Like that’s supposed to be news to me?” Kamui snapped. “It’s not like I’m friends with Seishirou. I know he doesn’t give a shit about me. The thing that bothers me is that you don’t seem to. I don’t seem to matter to you at all.”
“Oh, I care,” Subaru said, his voice dangerously low. “Do you know why I care, Kamui?”
“Enlighten me,” Kamui said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Subaru hit him again. “Because I hate you,” he said, his voice grating on Kamui’s ears. “I hate you so much that sometimes I can’t sleep at night. You took Seishirou away from me. You’re dirty and you’re selfish and you’re worthless. You think you’re so much better than me, but in reality you’re so much worse, because at least I fought my destiny, but you’re giving in like it’s the right thing to do.”
Kamui said nothing.
“I hate you because you think you can save me,” Subaru continued. “I hate you for even thinking that there’s any salvation for me, because then I feel worse because it isn’t happening. You’ve turned the festering mess that was already my life into hell itself and I hate you, I hate everything about you because I could have so easily been you, and you could so easily become me.”
He stood up, yanking Kamui to his feet and pinning him against the wall again. “Oh, but you’re not worried about that, are you? Because you’re already planning on leaving. You’re going to go find Keichii and use him just the way that I’m using you, you’re going to hurt him because he’ll always be second best to you, but you won’t care because you’ll be happy, and after all, nothing matters except you, right?
“I hate you for thinking that I could ever replace Seishirou-san and I hate you for trying to help, I wish I’d never even met you. Just touching you makes my skin crawl because you’re so dirty but I can’t stop because I need to touch someone and you’re the only one left. That’s why I won’t ever let you touch me. Seishirou-san is the only one that’s ever allowed to do that and I hate you for trying, I hate you for trying to make me love you. What business of yours is it, anyway?”
Kamui managed a faint whimper at this point, then fell silent.
“Don’t you understand?!” Subaru screamed, his face only inches from Kamui’s. “Why don’t you just leave?!”
“I love you,” Kamui whispered.
“WHY?!”
“I don’t know . . .”
“That’s not good enough!” Subaru dragged him across the room and threw him onto the bed, then pinned him against the blankets. “Why don’t you just hate me like everyone else?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t,” Kamui said, trying not to cry. “I can’t help it, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry . . .”
“Shut up!” Subaru hit him again, harder than the previous times, then leaned down and kissed him fiercely, tasting the blood in his mouth. He bit down on Kamui’s lip, then pulled away. For the first time since Kamui had come to him in the park, there was real fear in his eyes. “I can make you hate me,” Subaru snarled, his hands pulling at Kamui’s clothes, yanking the buttons from the cloth so he wouldn’t have to take the time to undo them.
“Oh fuck no,” Kamui snapped back. There was no panic in his voice, not yet, just anger and a trace of disgust. He shoved upwards, trying to squirm out from underneath Subaru. “There isn’t a chance in hell I’m letting you do that again.”
“I thought you liked pain, Kamui,” Subaru replied, his voice taunting. “Or are you trying to cure yourself of that, too? Trying to make yourself better than me in one more way?” He pinned Kamui’s wrists above his head and rested the entirety of his weight on Kamui’s stomach, preventing any sort of escape.
Kamui said nothing. He stopped moving, turning his head to one side.
Subaru also stopped. “What?” he asked.
Kamui just closed his eyes.
“Why aren’t you fighting?” Subaru whispered. “What’s wrong with you?!” His grip on Kamui’s wrists relaxed. “Don’t you want to get away?”
Kamui smiled up at him, opening his eyes again. “Do your worst, Subaru. I dare you.”
Subaru’s hands began to tremble. “You would just . . . let me . . .”
“I love you,” Kamui said. “I’m yours. You can do whatever you want with me; it doesn’t matter. I’ll never leave you. I’ll always forgive you.”
Subaru lifted himself off Kamui and stood up. His entire body had started shaking. “No . . . no, I don’t want to hear it . . .”
Kamui just lay there. “Where are you going, Subaru? Afraid to be loved? Or afraid to hurt the only person who truly loves you?”
Subaru turned away for a long second. When he looked back, his voice was colder than ice. “Get out.”
Kamui sat up. “Can’t,” he said blandly. “You’ve torn my shirt and it was my last clean one.”
“GET OUT!” Subaru screamed.
Kamui pulled the shirt over his head. “I think I’m going to go grab a shower. Do you want noodles for dinner?”
Subaru stared at him. “Stop pretending everything’s normal,” he said weakly. “Get out. I never want to see you again. I hate you.”
“Uh huh, I know.” Kamui took off his jeans and tossed them into the corner. “Oh, hey, don’t let me forget to do my stats homework, okay?”
He turned and walked out of the room. A few minutes later Subaru heard the shower turn on.
There was blood on the carpet.
He couldn’t stop shaking.
~~~~
“I’m not going to change what I said.”
“Mm hmm.”
“I still want you to leave.”
“I know. Because you’re delusional and you think that Seishirou will magically come back and treat you well just because I go.”
“He would.”
“Yeah, right.”
~~~~
Keichii glanced up as the phone rang and scooped it up. “Moshi moshi!”
“Keichii? It’s me. Kamui.”
“Oh, hi, Kamui.” Keichii flopped into a chair and tucked the phone under his ear. “What’s up? Are you having trouble with your stats again?”
“As usual, yes, but that’s not why I called,” Kamui replied. “I just called to say I won’t be in school tomorrow, so don’t worry about me.”
“Kamui, you always need worrying about,” Keichii said with a slight laugh. “Why aren’t you going to be in?”
There was a brief pause. “I won’t lie,” Kamui said with a heavy sigh. “I said some stupid things and Subaru was flipping out and he basically kicked the shit out of me. I’m not in very good shape and I’ll probably be out for a few days, no, I don’t need anything, thank you for offering.”
“And you want me to not worry?” Keichii asked skeptically.
“Well, you can worry about that,” Kamui said. “Just not about the fact that I won’t be in school tomorrow.”
“Okay, if you say so,” Keichii said, though he didn’t sound very pleased. “I take it that Seishirou didn’t stick around?”
“No. And Subaru decided that it was all my fault.”
Keichii paused. “And you know that’s not true, right?”
“You can boost my self-esteem later, Keichii. I need to go get some sleep before I pass out. My face hurts like hell.”
“Call me tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Is it a promise?”
“Yeah.”
~~~~
“If you hate me, why do you sleep with me?”
Subaru lit up a cigarette and looked down at where Kamui’s head was pillowed on his chest. “Saves me from having to go to a Soapland.”
“Give me a break,” Kamui said, rolling his eyes. “You’re too repressed to have ever done that. You’ve never slept with anyone besides me and Seishirou, have you.”
Subaru was silent, which Kamui took as a yes.
“You tell me that you hate me and you try to force me to leave,” Kamui said. “Then you have sex with me. Sorry if I’m not seeing the connection. Especially since you think I’m ugly and dirty and worthless.”
“Yeah, I know.” Subaru sat up. “But I figured you would appreciate one last time.”
Kamui looked at him.
Subaru reached out and brushed Kamui’s hair out of his face. Then he placed his hand on Kamui’s chest and roughly shoved him off the bed. “Leave,” he said quietly.
“I never meant anything to you, did I,” Kamui said, picking himself up.
“You want the whole truth?” Subaru asked.
“Always.”
“I thought you were kinda cute,” Subaru said. “And also, a whiny selfish little brat. I didn’t blame you for it then, of course. I didn’t know any better. But now I’ve wised up a little. You want to be with me, and you don’t care about the fact that I don’t want to be with you. But I’m sick of having my life run by other people.”
“Okay.” Kamui looked away. “I’ll leave in the morning. But you can’t expect me to go before that. It’s almost midnight.”
“Whatever. As long as you’re gone then.” Subaru rolled over to face the wall.
Kamui left the room and went out to the kitchen. He felt numb, the same numbness he had felt since their argument that afternoon. He was beginning to wonder if there was a certain point at which he was simply unable to feel.
He sat down at the kitchen table and spread his statistics homework out in front of him. He hadn’t been able to finish it earlier and he certainly didn’t expect to be able to now.
Subaru had never cared for him.
He stared at his homework for a long few minutes before shutting the book.
What was the point, anyway?
He rested his arms on the table and his head on his arms. Once the first sob escaped him, he couldn’t stop the second, and he sat there and cried where Subaru couldn’t hear, letting out all the tears he had been holding in all afternoon. Staying calm while Subaru had been saying those things had been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. Inside, he’d been dying, but he hadn’t wanted to let Subaru see the effect his words were having.
His sobs finally stopped and he simply sat there in silence. His throat hurt and his head ached; his eyes were sore and he was limp from exhaustion. Subaru hated him and he wouldn’t allow himself to go to Keichii, knowing he would only hurt his friend more if he did. He honestly had no one left in the world.
He was so tired of being alone.
He was tired of being hurt.
He was so tired.
~~~~
Subaru had been staring up at his ceiling for a long time, when there was a knock on the door. “Go away,” he called.
“Subaru . . .” Kamui’s voice sounded strange, even through the door. “Please. I need to come in. It’s important.”
“I said to go away,” Subaru said sharply. He had locked the door after Kamui had left the room, having had a strong suspicion that Kamui might change his mind.
“No, it’s really important,” Kamui urged.
Subaru groaned something inarticulate and tossed the blankets aside. He walked over to the door and unlocked it, opening it just enough to see through. “What do you want?” he asked irritably.
Kamui shoved his arm through the door. Subaru stood back immediately, staring down in shock at the bloody mess that had once been Kamui’s inner forearm.
“Changed my mind,” Kamui said with a weak smile. He was still holding the kitchen knife he’d used in his left hand. “Keichii’d be really mad at me.”
Without another word, he collapsed into Subaru’s arms.
~~~~
Part Fourteen
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